Joy Noel in our hearts

We've never been unemployed for Christmas.  We've never been unemployed for longer than three months... and this year we shot that right out of the water and continue to set records. 


We've never exhausted our savings and had few to zero options in our immediate financial present & future until this last summer.  It's been a whole insane year of financial crazy.  It's also been an insane year of amazing blessings and tender mercies.  I have no other words to adequately express those feelings.




It's much easier to focus on needful things when you have no other choice. It's much easier to continue to sacrifice wants and some needs when we seek to gain a little understanding of the sacrifice and embrace our challenges wholeheartedly.  


Yes, some days are tougher than others... some days we turn into two antagonistic nightmares.  Other days we force ourselves out of bed.  But at some point we do it (becuse we have to) and press on.  Curt hasn't quit looking for work and he hasn't quit furthering his education in the tough times.  There is light somewhere at the end of the tunnel.  There is hope in all things.


It's so incredibly sobering when so many others are cognizant of our struggles and generous beyond words.  It's that extra phone call, the note in the mail, the random 'thinking of you' email, the quick lunch date, the ear, the shoulder.  We have been blessed.  Heavenly Father will never forget His children.  Looking back at this last year, which was supposed to be our year to 'rebuild'... I chuckle a little bit.  But I think we've done just that in almost a spiritual sense.  We've changed our thinking.  I actually wouldn't wish for a different challenge at this time in our lives.  Call me crazy.


How grateful we are for the resources and gifts of love, tokens of kindness, all the small & simple things, and a few really large ones that have been sent our way and thrown us to our knees.  We were all geared up and actually quite excited to have a Christmas that has been unlike any other.  We weren't worried for the kids... these kinds of lessons and experiences are among those they'd remember for a lifetime.  


The love we felt this Christmas season was truly humbling... in an indescribable dose.  And all this is why.  Christmas for us has always been about a big family service project... and all the other wonderful traditions fill in the gaps and bring us all immeasurable joy and allow us to properly reflect upon our Savior as we turn our hearts to Him.  Sure, there's Santa and commercialism-- that's part of the butterflies & excitement.  Most the time it's too much.  Certainly our children have never gone without.  This year, we were all willing to do without.  The older kids each came to us at separate times saying they only needed pencils and shoes since his were a size too small and had holes.  One needed a jacket & socks, another needed nothing, but wanted a book.  Each of them told us we could have their money they had saved up so we could pay the bills... they were so sensitive and fully willing to sacrifice their own means so the little girls could have Christmas.  Lesson learned by all.  And I am one grateful mother.


But this year we weren't quite ready for what was in store.  And it was a lesson in gratitude and humility to try to graciously accept all the amazing outreach.  We were still able to participate in a wonderful service and reach outside of ourselves.  But we were the recipients of basically most of Christmas Day as our children know it.  It's harder than you might think to be on this end.  This is a first for us after 16 years of marriage.  So a heart-felt thank you to all, near and far.