To Our Children: When You Grow Up...

and have children of your own...

It will be payback time.  

We will come visit your homes all of the time.... AND 

• We're going to gather all the shoes in your house and have your kids leave them just inside the front door so you trip.
• We're going to teach your kid how to eat all your granola bars and leave the wrappers all over the house.
• We're going to complain, "I don't like this dinner" before we even taste it.
• We're going to feed your kids all kinds of sugar... right before we leave so they're bouncing off the walls.  
• We'll convince them that flossing is overrated so you end up having to pay thousands on root canals and fillings.
• We're going to bring drums and instruments, and noisemakers of every kind... so they can share their talents with you 24/7.
• We're going to shower and then leave all our towels on the floor in a giant pile... and then add the clean ones to the pile.
• We're going to show the kids how to put toothpaste on their toothbrushes and then leave them under the sink until the ants get to them.
• We're going to give them water right before bed so you have to get up at 2 am to take your three-year old potty.
• And we'll be sure to bring legos with us and then dump them all over the floor in the hallway so that at 2 am when you're rushing to take your three year old to the potty in the dark you step on them you scream 'damnit' really loudly.
• We're going to get every bowl out of the cupboard, and pour cereal and milk into them... and then walk away leaving them on the table to waste.
• We will break all your pencil sharpeners for you.
• We will draw on all your printer paper and leave the caps off the markers to dry out and make sure to leave all the mess on the floor.
• We will bring an electric pencil sharpener with us and sit in front of the TV and sharpen them one after another while you're trying to watch the news.
• We will buy your kids rootbeer and let each one open his/her own can, take ONE sip, then set it down on the table never to return again.  
• We will give them otter pops and make sure they leave their sticky wrappers in the garage or all over the ground outside.
• We will take all the utensils and plates and cups outside in the backyard and garage... and leave them until you find them a few months later.
• We will take your itouch and make sure your kids hide it in obscure places and then say "just kidding"  when you find it 3 weeks later.
• We make certain they chant and throw tantrums unless you let them have their way.
• We will make your older child hit your younger one and then blame it on the middle one.
• We will dress your kids with their undies on backwards.
• We will buy five balloons and let them float to the top of the ceiling so you can listen to them scream and cry for their dumb balloons.
• We will take your kids to the library and check out 42 books at once and make sure they stick them in their backpacks and loose them in their rooms... and find them 4 months later so you have to pay the overdue fees.
• We will watch movies with lots of buttery popcorn and make sure they spill at least half of it on the carpet.  Once the movie is over, we will make sure they know how to dump the old maid kernels in the disposal, jamming it up so you have to fix it.
• We will go to In & Out and buy everyone shakes, burgers and animal style fries, and then tell them they can only eat about half, and then show them how to stuff the rest in the crevices of the seats and mush it into the floors of your car and leave it there for you to find when the car starts smelling rancid.
• We will let your kids play hide and seek with your car keys.
• We will put your kids in your car to play around and leave all the lights on so in the morning your car battery is toast.  And they're late to school.
• We will come and chant in your ear every morning to see what the weather is going to be like.
• And we'll make sure to dump our suitcases out in the middle of the guest bedroom and we'll make sure they puke all over your favorite quilts and onto the carpet so you have to clean it up.
• And in the middle of the night, we'll teach them how to pick their noses and leave boogers on the wall...  the kind that only can be sanded off.
• We'll show your kids how to play dress up with your shoes and your makeup-- until they're utterly ruined.
• And we'll make sure to teach them how to dip the toilet paper in the toilet water and suck on it when they're thirsty.
• And with just one special little one... we'll make sure she wipes poop all over herself from head to toe and then continues to finger paint the walls and floors with poop just so you have the joy of raising yourself.

We cracked ourselves up with this list 

of just a few things you guys have done..

But we promise to love them just the same.

Sunday Stroll & preventative medicine

I have ants in my pants at the end of our Summer break and have to make every day count.  So with Curt out of town at his colloquium all the way across the country in Florida, I didn't want to sit home Sunday afternoon after church and listen to six kids create chaos somehow.  I saw some cool pics on my friend's blog of their little fieldtrip... so I had to visit this cool little preserve in Fallbrook to take in some nature and breathe some fresh & lovely California summer air so this is called...

preventative medicine.  

It works on so many levels:

 They're actually tired and want to go to bed at a decent hour before 11 pm 

We have a great time hanging out & interacting- it promotes togetherness

We explore-- what kid doesn't love exploring?

Gets rid of the Sunday wiggles

And bonus... no wrestling, fighting, boredom and/or chaos going on at home

So Momma's happy, therefore, everyone's happy.

PERIOD.

Monson's always so concerned about Vivie's safety

Make a wish!

My hands say it all... (they look how I feel lately)

I don't think Izzie can even take a picture without posing like this

How tall is your shadow?

Looking for a pet... lizard or praying mantis... anything for a pet.

Basket o' Crap

Do you have one of these at your house?

..for the freezer goodies or other 'treats'...

It works wonders... miracles... turns your kids into little worker bees.  I haven't perused my enormous google reader blogroll for 4 months...until now.  Too many amazing ideas were awaiting me.  Summer crazy solved.  We've always had incentivizing chore & behavior charts ....some more complicated than others.  But the simplicity and loveliness of this idea captured all the summer bribery we needed.  The kids so affectionately named it our basket o' crap... cause that's precisely what it is.  Their own personal store full of junk, crap... the kind I usually don't buy but the kind that makes them clean toilets, wash windows, dust blinds, stairwells, scrub walls, pull weeds, as well as do all their normal everyday stuff like say prayers, make beds, clean rooms... without even whining.  

Miracle worker bees.  

Oh, and it alleviates the kids asking all. day. long. if they can have chips, juice, crackers, gum, etc. etc.  because they know they can't unless they've earned enough points to visit out little store aka basket o' crap and cash them in.  They earn points by completing their chores, including my fave, 'mom's choice,' and being caught doing kind things, treating each other with respect, responding the FIRST time they're called, etc.  They also earn points doing their workbooks and reading, piano & violin practice, you name it--- it can have points!  Now, this is after a day of redeeming... and yes, they can lose points too... when attitudes and mutual respect is lacking.

Each 'room' of kids (x3) share a jar.  Each child has a different color they shaded in at one end of their sticks.  The chore is written on the stick, and they start the day off with the color facing down.  When they complete the chore, they turn the stick, color-up.  Easy peasy... visual representation of progress, and the best part is that they can do it themselves so momma doesn't have to micro-manage.  Chores are expected, so they don't get points for each chore... but they do get one point if ALL their chores are completed.  I wanted this basket o' crap to be attached to the 'extras' and especially an incentive to have less chaos and more order around the house (attitudes included).

   Go make yours today!

Weeds, Anyone?

Some people in blogland like to paint this pretty little picture of their perfect little families and how everything is joyous and lovely all.the.time. I know, it's rather easy to put your best foot forward when you're in control behind a computer screen, and perhaps I'm guilty at times, but let's face it...It can get annoying super duper fast and make others feel really inadequate. So I might adore my children tomorrow and feel better about how my parenting is working, but today I'm cranky and I'm tired and mommyhood seems more of a really really giant mountain... a snow covered mountain covered with mountain lions that I really can't climb... don't want to climb with a smile on my face.

Anyone who knows me knows I'm not one to sugar-coat things. I don't have as much of an 'edit' button in my head as I should sometimes. I prefer transparency and sometimes brutal honesty to the fairytale when it comes to really any situation that has my feelings attached. The reason for all of this today?

The Golden Rule...

Sometimes I'm just certain that my kids are the only ones on the face of God's green Earth that just don't get it. Actually... the more disturbing part is that they absolutely DO get it, but are choosing to not live it. And I've had it!

The biggest problem I see is that essentially we have two different age groups... and the older kids are generally really stinking at setting a great example for the little kids... and so I'm seeing my sweet innocent little girls whom I absolutely adore become snappy, disrespectful, loud, and sometimes physical, they are telling little lies here and there and testing the boundaries and all six of them are now doing it at the same time. Well, it's still hard to ever be upset at Vivs with those big blue eyes... she's still an innocent little love.

{SCREAM}

Does anyone else feel like your kids make it super hard to love them fully and completely all the time? Am I the only one who sometimes struggles with these awful feelings at times? Maybe love is the wrong word... but how 'bout LIKE? Do we have to like our children all the times? I know I certainly don't like what they do and how they act- and they know it.

I remember years ago a friend told me that she literally had to pray daily for guidance for how to love her child because he was so difficult and had brought so many different challenges into her life. I remember thinking, 'Wow... I can't even imagine feeling that way about your own child!' Serves me right for judging her inside my head. Truly, though... I usually do adore my kids... they ARE good kids full of great traits and I have many reasons to be grateful most days. But...

Even after a family home evening last night about order in our home and making a very short & simple list of family goals to achieve 'order,' one being the golden rule {seriously, how hard is that really?} This morning one (to remain unnamed) told another that "I wish you never were born" and they continued to battle and punch each other with their words. This is just one little example of what they do to each other. Sometimes I want to just press the rewind button and start all over like 10 years ago. Maybe it's US and not them.

A couple weeks ago we decided that if they said something inappropriate tabasco was the answer for the older kids, soap for the little ones. Only when Monson was the first to get it this was his reaction: "Wow, Mom, this is good stuff!" So I piled it on and gave him like 10 drops of the hot stuff. He still loved it. Reminded me of my brother, Brett, & his love affair with tabasco and alum when the same thing happened to him as a kid. Sometimes I just want to throw my hands up in the air cause I'm tired of beating my head against the wall.

So now they're pulling weeds. Keep it coming and test us, kids... cause there's a lot of weeds and once our yard is immaculate I'm not afraid to send you to the neighbor's house or the park to pull theirs too.

Or maybe I just need some dark chocolate & a vacation?

Pure Glee

Six-kid pile-up! ...Or five kids and a Dad. I don't know where Vivs was when the laughter & subsequent tackle broke out. The kids {love} wrestling with Daddy and usually someone inevitably gets hurt as they hurl themselves onto each other in perfect glee to tickle Daddy to death...

I'm thankful the kids have a Dad that will get down at their level (or is willing to be tackled down to their level) and play with them until it hurts!

Tough Love

I'm sick of being the nag.

I'm sick of the lack of response when I call them down to do their jobs.

I'm sick of being known as The Sheriff.

I'm sick of the antagonizing that goes on daily. Multiple times daily.

I'm sick of the overall disrespect and OUTBURSTS!

I'm sick of feeling like the bad mom after yelling at my kids for their actions because it's the only way they'll listen!

Curt sings an impromptu song accompanied by his swift guitar skills (hehehehe) to explain these outbursts and family quirks... it's quite hilarious if you've been lucky enough to witness it.

So we threaten our children. We threaten them into submission.

Sometimes, it's the only thing that works. And they've learned that these are NOT idle threats.

(for the older ones, that is... the younger ones are just perfect as can be & we're hoping... really we're praying they don't end up demented and overly influenced by the negative behavior of these pre-teens and that we're better parents having learned our lessons with the first three. We can hope, can't we? hahaha)

We thought the first would be Monson or McKenzie. We were certain. I guess we're all human because Brayden was first to earn a night in the garage for repeatedly antagonizing Lexie.

He earned himself a night sleeping in the garage. It's cold for Cali standards so it was no party. And I'm certain that there's a couple of rat families nesting out there not to mention spiders of all shapes and sizes. But he had a good attitude... he knew he deserved what came to him and that ultimately he choose his punishment because of his actions. The kids know that if they show disrespect, if they are the cause of great contention in our home that they have chosen to spend a night in the garage to think about what it means to be a member of this family and how they can change their behavior to contribute positively in our home. It's our way of showing forth love in an effort to maintain some order.

Really, it's done out of love.

At 1 am we felt Bray had paid his price and had sufficient time to think, so we allowed him to come inside (mostly because he had a good attitude about it).

So in this season of gratitude... this time to reflect upon our blessings, I'm thankful that we all have the power to change and to become better people. Heaven knows I have a ton to work on as a parent. I'm just glad I'm not the one that has to sleep in the garage.

Truly, we do have good kids. But if we let these behaviors continue, we'd be terrible parents. And we've started getting all the kids in bed by 8... WORLD of difference.

Sleep is lovely on so many levels!

One-on-one

Two parents vs six growing kids = Mom and Dad are spread rather thin these days.  It's easy to lose track of that closeness with each unique personality that makes our family function...or ROAR is really a better word, because that's really what it's like in a large family--- we're not the gentle, whispering, all-obedient and calm type...just ask the neighbors.

Each of the kids wants 'equal time' ...and shhhh... each of them gets that sparkle in their eye when I tell them they're my favorite. Personally, my beloved time of the day is right before bed.  Okay, maybe I'm lying just a little- it's right after bedtime.  Truly, when my 11 year old BOY demands cuddle-time...it melts my heart.  I love it that I get to make the rounds and that everyone wants a piece of me.  Goodnight cuddle time isn't just reserved for the little girls in our home...even though they have the corner on the market and try to hog it.  And I know that's not gonna last forever so I'll take it while I can!

Back to what this is really about...  Going on dates has been a coveted activity for our kids. Dates with us, that is!  We go down the line and each of the kids gets a turn to go out with mom, dad or both...and pick the place.  The one-on-one time is so vital to our family!  It's when we found the time for 'the big talk' with Brayden ...and then McKenzie.  Bray won't step foot into Chili's again because of that date.  But he'll always remember it!  Our dates help us to stay involved and aware of their feelings, expectations, goals...  It's a chance for our kids to see that WE really are normal people behind the parent cap and for them to open up (like that's a problem in our house)!  It can become tough to maintain that individual closeness with so many children to think about, and this has been the perfect tool for our family.  Plus, it gives us a chance to bribe them and who wouldn't want to bribe their kids?

Every year San Elijo Elementary hosts a Father Daughter Dance-Date.  McKenzie has looked forward to her yearly dance with dad, complete with flowers and dress-ups.  This year I crashed the party!  I was asked to take pictures of the Dads & Daughters as an alternative to the paid 'professional' photos ...that's what happens when the PTO activities coordinators are two of my friends who know I have a cool camera even if my skills are sketchy at best.  

I guess March is a whole month devoted to Kenz because she had a second dinner date with Curt for our ward's activity days program.  Curt and Kenz celebrated St. Patrick's Day and dressed to the nines in their cool green.  Too bad I don't have the evidence... I didn't send them with a camera!  Or maybe the girly slip cover I just accessorized it with was just too much for my man?  Naw... he looks great in pink:

A quiet house spells TROUBLE

When it's quiet in our home that's a quick sign that things aren't normal.

So I went upstairs and this is what I found:

You may see a precious & peaceful sleeping baby...

unless you know my house and know that she's actually hanging over a LEDGE

... and it's only a ginormous drop to the steep stairs below.

but when a girl needs a nap, any place will do.

She quickly grew tired from creating yet another hurricane.  

Frankly, just looking at her trail of messes makes me long for a nap.

I think she needs a leash.

I promise, I DO watch my children....most of the time.

I did hear the pencils being thrown, dropped...and I thought to myself 'no biggie'...until it grew increasingly more quiet.  A quiet house spells

T-R-O-U-B-L-E.

{I love my life}

And today I'm not even being facetious.  

I DO love my life.  I love it despite what I may say sometimes or how I may feel in 'a moment'.  

I love it that I am able to stay home during this season of raising our children and experience every moment with them.  

I love the occasional 'sleep' in.  Okay, it's really not sleep, and we're still talking 6:45 am, but I can cuddle in bed with my kids without having to rush off to work.  I love that.  

I love it that I can stay in my 'lounge' clothes, aka pajamas all day if I want to.  

I love it that my little girls will come into my room and watch 'their show' and sip chocolate milk.  

I love the numerous laughs during the day like when Vivie takes her diaper off, exposing her cute bum and makes me chase her around the house.  

Or the way Izzie dances across the room while singing her made-up songs about dancing across the room.  I love her!

And the way Izzie wants not only her back tickled, but her arm, the other arm, each leg, face, and then her tummy. 

I love the way Lexie is so literal...so bright & inquisitive and asks the deepest questions about her Heavenly Mother and how 'our existence' all works.  

I love it that she cannot even think about going to sleep without having rocked with me and I love the way she gives me the best butterfly kisses.  

I love it that Monson will come and give me cuddles and still wants to sit on my lap and is not afraid to give me kisses or hold my hand.  

I love it that McKenzie has an intelligent answer to every question we ask her--even when she's faking her answer, she makes it sound good.  

I love it that Kenz will just pitch in and help when she sees a need.  

I love it that Brayden will call me on his way home from school to tell me about his day and chat with me about his friends and just life in general.  

And I love it that Curt sees when I need a break and is here to relieve me to run  away--even if for an hour.  He's truly a partner in all things.  And he's a large part of why 

{I love my life}.

Chore System

I'm #1 resident NAG in our home....and I DESPISE IT! This is what I do to try and avoid that rating:

Last year while on bedrest....to avoid more chaos and to keep a sense of organization and responsibility, I bought a chore system for the computer called 'the reward board.' It worked GREAT...it was motivating, inspiring, fun, visual, and exciting. I love that it helped the kids to focus on behaviors they felt they needed extra work on as well as make decisions and personal goals. I would input all their duties, then print a weekly chart out to give them a visual to mark off daily. The only problem was that the kids didn't update and check off their chores often enough on the computer, and then the reward board couldn't add their points up and thus, they couldn't choose their rewards. If they fell behind in marking them off on the program, it was a huge task to input so much at once. Technology can be a pain sometimes.

The 'idea' was fabulous and it worked for a time. So, I've taken that idea, and searched the net for others and came up with a system that I think will work for our family. Funny enough, once I had it written down on paper it's really almost identical to what I did when we lived in Utah...just a little more fancy and detailed. Here's what we came up with just in time for back to school:

~*~I picked up the magnet board at Costco for $22 last week.

~*~I bought 1/8" crepe art tape to make my lines and divide the board into sections at Office Depot.

~*~I made each of the tags in photoshop, laminated, then attached neo magnets (which I ordered from the link) to the back of each one. The little girls have basic pictures of their tasks to help them know what they need to do.

 

 

~*~The magnetic-backed tins came from ikea--the grundtal collection.  I'm working on punching holes in the side, so that as they sit on the board, the hole is on top.

How it works:

*They each have two major household chores. We used to rotate these every week, but this summer we changed it to a month-at-a-time. It's worked really well, so we rotate the two major chores every month. (Viviana's job is to look cute right now...we're working on that change-your-own-diaper thing. kidding

*All have they need to fulfill daily and they need to work on.

*For each one successfully completed daily, they put a button (point) in their container (thus, the hole I'm working on drilling in each one).

*Certain behaviors earn extra points ('I'm Awesome') and other behaviors & actions deduct from their earnings ('oopsies!').

*They can 'cash in' for rewards ('jackpot!') that have point values. Of course we can add to/take away from the reward-type as needed.

Obviously this is very visual & tactile. Lexie & Izzie's have little pictures next to their tasks so they can figure out what they need to do each day. I mounted it in their new computer/homework command station (which I'll post about later this week) so they see it all the time and have constant reminders of their tasks & behaviors:

My hope is that they'll be more motivated and they'll just be better and that I'll have self-starters, rather than me being #1 Momma Nag. Each of them have something they're working towards that they chose. I'm sure we'll change things up as we go to make them more independent workers and well-behaved members of this crazy clan. I really don't like nagging and I despise whining...and I'm always looking for ways to function with such a large family without- well...going bonkers everyday!