Valentine's Day at the Gilbert Temple

In some ways our 'pilgrimage' to the Gilbert Temple open house reminded me of all those stories you hear from the early days of the LDS Saints and their pilgrimage to the temple to worship or be sealed. 

The day before leaving we had only a few dollars to our name, but this trip was so important to me for really only one reason.  How often do/will our children have the chance to experience walking through the doors of such a holy edifice as youth and primary aged children?  To  see and feel for themselves what joy & peace that can be theirs if they live their lives in such a way to claim those blessings.  A beacon and a perfect memory to hold onto when times get tough, when the road doesn't seem clear, when judgement is clouded, weakness prevails, or when the path seems bright!

We had planned on staying at Kevin and Brooke's, but last minute, she didn't want houseguests, being due in a month with baby #2... So having no funds to go, but feeling strongly about taking the kids.. We booked a hotel for one night in hopes that K&B ended up relenting-- I guess they felt badly knowing how many years and how many times we had hosted them when it wasn't the most convenient. 

The night before we left, Curt received a small bonus from work... One that would pay for the gas and allow us to have a few meals out.  And so we made our 24 hour pilgrimage.  

And the temple did not disappoint.  I wish I could have captured on camera Izzie's face as she rounded the corner into the celestial room and laid her eyes on the most grand crystal chandelier I've ever seen.  Alexandra was in awe of the grand staircase that she envisioned to be in her house when she grows up.  I loved that the mystery was taken out of whatever was in Monson's head when he saw the simple beauty of the sealing room and the altar where marriages/ sealings take place.  The mirrors of eternity caught Mckenzie's eye.  It is my hope & prayer that these simple symbols will become the memories my children will hold onto as they experience the ebbs and crossroads of life, which will propel them to choose the right, even when it's hard.

Eight Months...

I'm not thankful to be unemployed; I am not thankful for the feelings of desperation and moments of despair and hopelessness. I'm not thankful that nearly EIGHT months has gone by and we don't have even a foggy ballpark idea of what direction we're headed which makes planning any inkling of a future immensely difficult no matter how many little people are affected. I'm not thankful for an empty bank account or the lame Escalade we have that needs MUCH work before something blows... the check engine light itself it gonna burn out any day, or the front bald tires will shred... along with the front shocks that have already given way...not sure which will come first. And I'm not thankful that we feel just STUCK in 'park' and there's no 'pass go and collect $200' (or a get out of jail free card :) Because sometimes this trial just feels like jail.... only I wish we could make all that monopoly money useful for something!

But.... I am ever thankful for the tender mercies that have come as a result of this sucky unemployment trial... the little notes and gift certificates that were left on our doorstep a few days ago along with a giant multiple-family-size bottle of bubbles. I'm thankful for the prayers offered in our behalf and the notes I've received over the past weeks and months from friends who truly are a God-send. I'm thankful the the most basic needs that are being fulfilled. I'm grateful that I feel one with Curt and that our marriage is as strong as ever. I'm thankful for the extra time we get to spend and that we can run away together every day if we want...because we DO have one car that works even if it's not perfect. I'm thankful for the opportunities to teach our children about sacrifice... selflessness, and service... the endless lessons at our fingertips. We can have a generally good perspective, yet still acknowledge how awful it can feel at times. I think it is MUCH worse for Curt.... I am thankful that he's also going to school and keeping his mind focused and sharp, that he's moving forward in some direction even if there can be no fruits yet from that labor.

These last few days have been particularly difficult for some reason. We're not without hope, not without faith... but some things just seem to feel heavier and more burdensome at times. And right now is one of those times. I know it's going to be fine.... and I know it's not the end of the world and that many others are going through much worse right now. But it's just okay to declare how sucky life can be once in a while, right?

The last few days as Curt and I have reflected on our current awful crazy and we are at a loss for words to express just how it feels. We look back and see that everything we have worked so hard to build has sunk so fast over the last couple years even though we're doing all the right things and being honest, truthful, good people trying to raise good and valiant contributing citizens.

I know I can be poor as poor can be and live happily in a shack on the side of the road eating homemade bread and water if need be as long as I can run to a quiet place once in a while and I have the important things like my faith, family, love, etc.

I learned quickly that the trial of losing a home and having to be a 'renter' is not NEARLY as awful as I thought it would be... in fact, it's not awful at all. It's just different. And it's temporary. One of my favorite scriptures is Proverbs 3:5-6. I know that as we turn to the Lord and give away these feelings of despair and hopelessness, continue to press on and just trust... that something grand will happen not only to our hearts, but to the path we find ourselves trodding down.


And even though today it seems impossible.... I've learned that the unemployment trial is what you make of it too. Much of it is about attitude and the choice to remain positive and hopeful. There are obvious temporal needs that need to be satisfied someway and somehow, but the major needful things have all been taken care of. I am thankful that our children are healthy for the most part (except for the 12 cavities and 4 root canals that one of our kids needs), but I'm grateful that we now have medical/dental insurance to look after those needs (thank you, medi-cal). I'm grateful we'll be able to get Viviana's obstructive sleep apnea taken care of so she can finally breathe at night, as well as learn from all the blood work if Alexandra's going through precocious puberty at six (not fun) or just has smelly 13-year-old boy pits and zits (lovely).

The kids are happy even though they bicker and fight, and we are all learning to appreciate the simple things and how being creative with our time and energies is just as fulfilling and lovely as it was eight months ago when we had a bank account, a job, and a future plan. I love love love the quote from a book I'm just finishing called The Shack.. the book is definitely different and isn't exactly the imagery and whole religious perspective I believe in, but there's some great lessons in it and I love this:

"pain has a way of clipping our wings and keeping us from being able to fly. And if it's left unresolved for very long, you can almost forget that you were ever created to fly in the first place."

So even though I'm not in 'pain' and I haven't any bitterness or anger to let go of, I have to remember that with this small trial, my perspective and attitude is everything. If I choose to be negative and give into self-pity too often, then those 'wings' could be clipped to the point that we're not moving forward and upward and forget our purpose altogether. I don't have to understand the why's... I just have to have the kind of crazy rock solid faith I had when we were going through the Vivie trial, and perhaps that's when the path will be made a little more clear.

Filling in the blogging gaps...

Scouts

Brayden earned the rank of Star Scout in March-- on his way to Life, and then Eagle!

Road Show
So fun that our Temecula Stake does Road Shows 
(a unique LDS production showcasing the youth and they compete against other youth in the area)
.... I only wish I'd taken more pictures of their gazillion practices and captured the *fun* of the show.... oh well.  Brayden had a great time, even though he had a lame part.  The experience really bonds the youth.  Our ward put together a production of, "Beauty IS the Beast" ... great script.  Bray was a 'bro'... whatever that is.  On another note, he tried out, and made it into the advanced drama class at school for 8th grade.

Preschool Fun-

We participated in a preschool co-op... the girls had a great time hopping around for playdates and hands-on learning here and at their friend's houses!
I wish we had taken more pictures of our adventures through the weeks.
We made homemade ice cream, real erupting sand volcanoes, beaches-in-a-jar, ceramic handprints, melted crayon stained glass, these cutest abc books made out of sewn-together brown paper bags... and so many more exciting fun projects!
Sometimes it's nice to have an excuse to dig in and make learning fun.

What better way to practice letters... and clean the table at the same time!  Shaving cream letter fest...

they think it's their very own drinking fountain

Spring School Pics

for reals.... the photographer didn't think to have her at least remove her eye patch???  Love the glare in the glasses too.  No, I didn't buy it, I just scanned it.  Stupid photographer.  And no, I didn't remember it was pic day if you couldn't tell.

Bray's spring baseball photo

End of School

Alexandra's Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Starr

Last day of school.  She just doesn't listen.  I told her not to grow up.

Alexandra at her kindergarten garden.  Maybe she can show us how to make a garden-- I've never even attempted one...shame on me.

Monson showing off his silhouette 

No pics of Kenz...  she went to Utah two weeks before school ended.  Pics of her adventure later.

Girlfriend Time

I love my San Marcos Girlfriends... and I love it that they make the effort to come up and see me.  We had a lovely brunch at Vallee d'Brume...  with a name like that, & with friends like them, how could it not be the best!

Mwah, Karyn, Malisa, Lisa, Erin, Nicole

Lego Crazy
New favorite pastime... lego building.  I found these pics in my camera courtesy of the boys:

Long or Short?
Silly Monson flips between growing his hair out and buzzing it off... (and kissing the air)

and I didn't take 'after' photos... but he's a cutie pie either way.

Miss Teen San Marcos

 We adore Mackynzie Parry.... and we were there in February to see her compete for and win the title of Miss Teen San Marcos.  She's a true beauty inside and out!  She was our neighbor in San Marcos, and the kids all regard her as an older sis... Even though she's six years older than Monson, she always made the time to play hoops with him & play with ALL the kids.  Monson used to go over to their house and sit and wait for her to finish her chores so she could 'play.'  Then he'd just get sick of waiting, so he'd help her do her chores.  She was soooo patient with them and never once told them to take a hike even though I'm sure she wanted to at times.  Oh, how our kids miss bugging the Parry family everyday!

Silly Kids

My kids get a kick out of the classic Menzie human pyramid my brothers and I would always make...

it's one of those things you do when you're feeling silly, and with six kids it just works...so why not

 

and they all come tumbling down

Playing Primary

When I was little I remember 'playing Primary.'  I loved directing my little brothers and teaching them, doing singing time while crazily waving my pencil through the air (baton).   I vividly remember feeling so grown-up and super organized with my little notes and agendas on my clipboard.  But the absolute BEST was singing time.  Our best friends' nanny was the chorister... and not just any chorister... it was during the time when Mary Poppins was all the rage, and Sally Cunningham, our chorister, was from England and had a yummy, flowing, and lovely accent... we all wanted to be just like her, so we'd imitate her as we sang and played 'Primary.' (because what little girl doesn't love that accent)?  My mom says that at Christmastime we used to ask her if we could sing 'the birdie song'...."Hawk the Herald Angels Sing."

On Sunday I overheard my girls playing Primary, sans the accent.  I had just been set apart for my new calling in the Stake Primary Presidency, so I'm sure that's why Primary was on their minds.  It made me laugh inside and I thought how very impressionable they are-- they want to be like us big ogre adults!  They just soak up everything they observe and hear, and then repeat it and practice as they're feeling so grown-up.  Their favorite thing about Primary besides singing time is actually the 'spotlight.'

So there stands Alexie, with her fake notes in hand... with Izzie & Monson as her audience calling out little factoids about the 'spotlight.'  And they did it over, and over, and over again.  Here's what I caught:

Alexie:  "I'm the Primary President!!!!"  


Izzie:  "I'm the singer"


Alexie:  "It's time to do spotlight... okay, everyone stand up"


"This person likes eating peanuts for dinner" (for reals????  that IS indeedy what we feed our kids for dinner...peanuts)


"This person also likes to eat cake for dinner" (now that might be true)

"This person likes to go in the pool"


"This person wants to go to Russia on a mission"


Monson pipes in: "guys, trust me, you do NOT want to go to Russia"


Izzie: "I don't like that"


Alexie:  "Okay, then.. it's not gonna be you, Monson.  This person is crazy at home"


 "And the spotlight is.... anybody guess?  It's Isabella Daisy!!!!"

They begin to jump up and down and dance and twirl around...because I'm quite certain that's what they'd do in Primary too... if they were the spotlight.

BYU Women's Conference turned into a 5K

One of my favorite girls' trip every year is BYU Women's Conference at the end of April... because it's the best of both worlds.  Fill your spiritual cups, partake of mostly amazing speakers and devotionals with thousands of other women... old & young all there for the same reasons... and most of all because I get some R&R with a few of my favorite people in the whole world!

Pee-your-pants and LOL fun...

Mom treated us to a-mazing massages and our new fave-- the flavored oxygen bar.

We stuffed our faces with mom's version of BYU mint brownies, Cafe Rio, Rumbi, Lion House Pantry, Starbucks--you go knowing you're going to gain at least 5 pounds cause if you didn't, then you didn't really do it right.  We stayed in mom's RV right on campus-- perfect place. Mom made us her version of the famous glitter cup-- can't leave home without it!  

 

The shopping is always a highlight too-- gotta hit all the favorite little Utah boutiques and giant decorating warehouses to file away yet more ideas and spend money you really didn't want to spend...

(and get matching cute hats on clearance)

I always love the 'Evening of Service' ... where thousands of women crank out several projects which benefit women's shelters and various humanitarian needs. The Sharing Stations, which are booths filled with wonderful ideas and 'helps' for our busy lives is always a highlight as well.

I promise we didn't wear the same clothes the whole time...

And this year?  Fun SIL, Tallie, talked me into running a 5K on Saturday.  I'm not a runner.  I wasn't a runner then.  But I was dang proud of myself after I ran with freezing cold ice bombs pounding on my face with soaking wet-to-the-bone shoes.  It was all worth it for the massage and Magelby's Fresh afterwards... and beyond sore legs.

There were record cold wintry temps and conditions the whole week... it's May!  We even drove through a massive blizzard through Central Utah to get there.

And I always leave more than filled and eager to apply all that I learned... and ready for a long nap!

(isn't my momma purrty?)