My latest sewing project was so RUDELY interrupted & permanently put on hold this morning by some very unexpected news that came out of left field... and now after the heart-sunken feeling, numbness, and just trying to make sense of it...
We're trying to deal, we're trying to process it and move baby steps forward and maybe seek some joy that may be had in all of this. Yeah right.
JOY. in. THIS. maybe not today...
Where a door closes, a window opens...yadda yadda yadda. We know as we go through difficult times it brings our family closer together, and we've had quite a lot of that kind of family togetherness lately. Like ever since we moved to California 4 years ago.
Am I to be grateful? I'm really trying.
This morning we received news that Curt was laid off from his job (6 years & counting) with Baxter... completely unforeseen and unanticipated.
You're only as good as your last 30 days when it comes to budgets, numbers, & stretch goals in this cut-throat heartless corporate world.
I know, not the worst news ever in this economy where unemployment is so high. But when it's a complete surprise and it's YOU, it evokes different emotions that we just weren't prepared to deal with. (with the shock... Izzie saw me and said....shocked herself, "Daddy, is that how mommie cries?) Then I started laughing. {Love} Izzie.
Happy New Year. Completely shoved us to our knees...partly because I literally lost footing with this shocker {and it was either fall to my knees or on my butt with shock} and partly because we need
some major divine guidance. Fast.
We're still numb after a day of simplifying and cutting out extra expenses. Sacrifice isn't a foreign concept to our family, and it was humbling and sweet to hear the kids' reactions when we gathered them to talk about sacrifice, simplifying, & pulling together to get through this without completely losing our minds & tempers:
Kenz & Bray--"You can have my money to pay the bills."
Kenz & Mons-"Dad, you can have our phone since you won't have one."
Kenz & Mons--"We can ride our bikes to/from school so you can save gas (TWO miles)."
Lexie & Izzie- "Dad, maybe you can be the ice cream man now instead!"
Lexie - "Or, maybe you can work at Costco or be the boss at IN-'N'-Out so we can eat whenever we want. (Now, they're thinking)
Izzie-"I'm so sorry you lost your job, Daddy."
Thank heaven for little kids to bring a sense of humor (and compassion) to help lighten the load we carry as parents.
I'm feeling a wee bit grateful that:
*at least we are not tied to this house (other than a rental contract).
*We don't have to stay in bankrupt California (even though my heart is here).
*Deep deep down somewhere I do actually welcome the chance to become a cowgirl & live on a farm (NOT a Utah one) and have my kids feed chickens & milk cows & have space to run as far as the eyes can see...
*At least we can run far far away if need be.
*Curt's Masters Program IS mostly online...
*Or, we can stay put if that's how it all works out.
I know the kids are resilient, but I so NEVER envisioned them jumping from school to school.
I struggle with uprooting them yet again if that's how the cards play out.
Yes, they will survive. This isn't that bad...none of our kids have died, Curt doesn't have a terminal illness, we didn't lose our minds yet. It's not that bad other than the {not so} tiny detail that we don't have an ample savings to get us through yet since our last financial crazy only a few short months ago.
For now I'm gonna run far, far away in my head, and go watch a movie and wake up tomorrow hoping this was just a really icky nightmare and when I come-to and realize I have to figure out how to rob Peter to pay Paul...then I'll continue to simplify until we can find some
new hope on the horizon.
20 comments:
I'm so sorry, Shayla. You have a wonderful family and I know that all will work out.
So sorry to hear these news. You are such a good example of having faith. Stay strong!!!!! Sending lots of hugs your way
You are such an inspiration to me! REALLY!!! Your family is in our prayers and '...it came to pass...' the most repeated phrase in the Book of Mormon. :) You will get through this with flying colors just like you always do! I know, not what you wanted to hear at all, but you can DO this! Heavenly Father only wants to see your success and He knows you can bear this burden and grow from its lessons. I love how your kids are such troopers and so aware and willing to pitch in. We are praying for you! :)
And thank you for your kind words of reassurance about baby Anya. I have a feeling everything is going to be absolutely fine. :)
Let us know if there's anything we can do.
When Wayne was working on furlough for a little while last year, I found that having been through the jobless trial didn't make things easier...it's still hard and trying. I hope Curt is able to find work quickly (I'm secretly hoping you come east) and that you feel buoyed up through this hard time. Your kids are so sweet & quick to rise to the occasion. You're in my prayers.
I am so sorry for the bad news. We at least knew ours was coming when the new bank failed along with all our life savings and job. But sometimes you can be surprised at how it all works out in the end. We were. My heart and prayers are with you.
Shay.......
Come and live in my basement. There's a stage down there and we can sing Indigo Girls all day and night. It would be so fun. !
And on a serious note: your kids will be fine. I have moved my kids more times than I care to count and my kids are happy and healthy and well adjusted. The Lord puts them in a bubble and protects them. I KNOW IT. And I know he will yours too. KNOW IT.
Shayla, I am so sorry for this latest "bump" (to put it mildly) in the road. You and your family are always in my prayers. If there is anything I can do, if you want to talk - I am here for you.
That's just crappy...I'm thinking you should head to AZ :) I love how you can find humor in this...I would be in shock too but I know you and your family will be okay. I am so sorry!
Oh Shay, I'm so sorry. We'll keep you guys in our prayers.
You are certainly in my prayers and thoughts. If there is anyone in this world who can deal with this with a positive and healthy perspective, it's you. If there's anything I can do, you'd better ask me!! Even if it's coming up to play with your kids while you and Curt go to the temple or on a date or something, okay??
Oh honey...that completely sucks! Matt just told me they have an opening in Fresno for a rep-have him call him! What crappy timing. I know you guys though-you are able to handle crisis so well-I just wish you didn't have to!!!
Shayla, I am trying to muster up some words of comfort; But you know, and I know, that you will get through this and be a stronger, happier family in the end. So for now I just want to hug you and say, "THAT SUCKS." I wish I was rich and could give you all my money, but as I am not rich, and in the process of trying to round up my own gob of money, I will just pray for your amazing family and secretly hope that you have to stay in So. Cal. forever!
Oh your post brought so many memories and emotions back to me. One year ago, I came home from the Doctor (after just finding out I had gallstones and would have to have my gallbladder removed) to my husband telling me he just got laid off. That was it -- that day he turned in his phone and computer -- no more, no severance. We, like you, had trial upon trial since moving to CA. And that was the last straw for me. Not to mention my surgery 2 weeks later, Kevin's appendix rupturing exactly one month after that, etc. I went to a dark place and am now (1 year later) just starting to come out of it. I wish I was one that stayed strong through the bad, but this time I didn't. I know the Lord is aware of us, but as we go through things in our lives, they sometimes seem unbearable. The last year for me was just that - unbearable. Please take care! You are a great example to many!
"...and a little child shall lead them."
You are so blessed to have such wonderful children to be helpful and loving through this.
You and Curt have done (and are doing an incredible job)
Hold onto the quote "I never said it would be easy..... but it will be worth it."
Shayla, I'm so sorry! Your family is in our thoughts and prayers. Hey, there are two houses for sale in the neighborhood...we'd love to have you back! :)
Oh my, Matt just told me. I am so sorry and I was so shocked when he told me. We will keep you in our prayers, and please let us know if there is anything we can do for you guys. Love you.
So sorry to hear the bad news. You have the strongest family I know and will make it through this rough time in your life. In the end everything will be okay!!!
You guys are in our prayers. I thought of you when I was in the temple the other day and put your names on the prayer roll...please let us know how we can help.
So much for the economy improving, right? That is just CRAP! and I'm so sorry.
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