Cure for chocolate-lovers?

I know she loves chocolate...and I know that when something may look like chocolate that it may be tempting to find out if in fact, it is chocolate.  What happens when the sniffer doesn't work or when she figured out mid-fun that it was a really, really REALLY bad idea?  Yes, I know, she was just getting started.  And she wasn't thinking it was a bad idea.  Who doesn't love to squeeze something nice and squishy through their fingers?

Yes, it's true.  She did the unimaginable.  I've heard of kids painting walls, floors, themselves...with their own poop.  But my kids? No.  Never.  Well, at least not the first five.  They had their share of BIG noddies, yes.  But our Viviana seriously is a different breed.  It's not for lack of attention.  She's not calling out due to a lack of love.  She's just the WILD last CHILD.  Or, maybe she's just the experimenting kind.  I suppose now that this is a true fact of life, we can all move on and arm ourselves with different parenting skills.

She fought long and hard to get here and remain on this earth and she's gonna fight long and hard to make us remember that every step of the way.  She's the one who requires a leash.  Yes, a leash.  Well, it's a harness, actually.  I swear I'm gonna tie her to a tree in the front yard so she doesn't get hit by a car.  And, she's our ONE 

who painted her face with poop.  

Lexie came downstairs and asked for something, then said, "by the way, Vivie took off her diaper upstairs and it's poop."  Oh, by the way....really, is that a 'by the way' kind of situation?  Didn't that look just a little out of the ordinary the moment she dropped her drawers and the smell permeated the upstairs?  I guess it's not out of the ordinary to drop her drawers--she's known for that.  I'm thankful Lexie was one her way downstairs, cause who knows what kind of casualties and damage would have occurred otherwise.  

After being quarantined, a good shower, blasting mouth rinse and tooth brushing, lysol wipe-down on the floor, and Brayden's axe deodorant spray (the closest thing to where she wasand most potent smell around), we're like new again.  Until next time.  And don't give her any ideas of how else to torture mom.  I'm sure she'll think of something on her own, that wild last child.  So who wants to babysit my Vivie?  Anyone?  Anyone?

This is no April Fools... here is my photo proof.  You ask, how did I have time to grab the camera?  I couldn't resist.  After I screamed at the very sight of her, I ran downstairs and grabbed my camera.  Because she needs to see how noddy she truly was.  Just be grateful you can't smell the lovely aroma through the photos.  

Oh, ya wanna take a picture of me, do ya?

Nope, that's not your lipstick mom, it's my poop

Yeah, it's fun to squeeze it through my fingers

Oh, we might have a problem, it's on both hands now.

mmm, tasty.

...and you didn't even see the front of my shirt.