My Blog Turned One!

My blog turned 'one' today.
And in case you were wondering,
she's kind of like a twisted little best friend of-sorts...

I can tell her my deepest feelings and desires.
I can complain to her when my kids aren't acting like angels...
or when I have a shout-out whether happy or sad...
...and she's a really great listener.
She gets my undivided attention...perhaps too much.
I can have little lunch 'dates' or 'time outs' with her...everyday if I want.
We share pictures...lots of them.
She has introduced me to a world of new friends, ideas & sentiments...
And she even leaves comments some of the time!

Truly I'm thankful for the relationships that have been rekindled and strengthened as a result of my beloved blog...
The funnies and everyday happenings that are recorded & remembered...
The thoughts and feelings--in all their forms that are expressed...
So that my life and everything that lies within isn't a distant memory, but one to behold forever!

Thank you, dear blog- for one great year and more to come
Yes, my name is Shayla
And I am an addict--and a cheeseball.
I {love} my blog.

A Mother Heart

Don't you love it when you're struck by something and it changes, at least a little bit, your perspective about your divine role? I don't get to attend Relief Society very often because I teach the darling 11 year olds on Sunday, so the snippets,  lessons, and articles in the Ensign are partially what fills my cup.

I loved this month's Visiting Teaching message. (For my readers that may not be members of my faith, click on the link to learn more about it). I love the visiting teaching program altogether. I love it that my new visiting teacher gave me my little snippet of a message lying out by the pool in Palm Springs this last weekend. I love it that this gospel gives us tools to strive to be our best and to reach out to others. I love it that if I stink at it one month, then I can strive to be better the next month. I love it that there's a 'higher plan' in this visiting teaching. I love it that it brings sisters in the gospel closer together to help bear one another's burdens. I love it that no matter where you live in this beautiful world, you will always have a 'visiting friend' and also get to go visit with others and leave a gospel message to help them through their hectic month. I love it when I develop a relationship with my visiting teachers and teachees that extend beyond a monthly visit.

And this month, I love the whole concept around having a 'mother heart.' Maybe I've been hiding under a rock, but I've never really dissected what having a 'mother heart' truly means...until yesterday morning. So I kept reading and reading and looking at references...and then I was late to sweet Amy T's house to excitedly deliver my message, but my heart truly was touched as now I have a name for what I've been striving for all along.Our General Relief Society President, Julie Beck said, "Every girl and woman who makes and keeps sacred covenants can have a mother heart. There is no limit to what a woman with a mother heart can accomplish. Righteous women have changed the course of history and will continue to do so, and their influence will spread and grow exponentially throughout the eternities."

I want to be like the woman she references in the above article who refines the role of nurturer to an art form.

"What is a mother heart and how is one acquired? We learn about some of those qualities in the scriptures. To paraphrase Proverbs: “Who can find a … woman [with a mother heart]? for her price is far above rubies. … She … worketh willingly with her hands. … With the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. … She stretcheth out her hand to the poor. … Strength and honour are her clothing. … She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness” (Prov. 31:10, 13, 16, 20, 25–27).

She is “not weary in well-doing” and delights to serve her family, because she knows that “out of small things proceedeth that which is great” (D&C 64:33).

Yes, I strive to be and do all of these things, but I just love the term associated with it, the vision I get in my head when I think of my own dear mother...I always want to strive to have that Mother Heart. I love the sentiment, "I know who I am and what I'm supposed to do. The rest just follows." And I love it that in an imperfect world with ups and downs, highs and lows, even when I am having a rough day actually questioning myself and not so much wanting to be a mom in the moment (...it happens more than I'd like to admit with six of them...and I know I'm not alone) that I know I can always come back the next day and keep on striving to have that wonderful, beautiful, eternal potential of a Mother Heart. It's become a common part of my prayers (sometimes I plead :) ) for Heavenly Father to help me see my children as HE sees them so I can teach them well and love them wholly....always. I feel like I have to close this post as I would a talk or a lesson or testimony...but I'm not gonna. There...said it in my head. Now go on....think about your 'Mother Heart' and enlighten me more.

Arrow of Light & on to Boy Scouts

Curt is anal & detailed about a lot of things. And one of those things is Scouts...especially where our boys are concerned. He earned his Eagle by the time he was 14 without the help and support of a father (with the help of great leaders), and our boys will be expected to do the same, with a very active and 'move-it-along-boy' force (aka Curt). Those who know Curt know that when it comes to Scouts...he's not kiddin' around. Funny when you think of it cause he's not exactly your rough 'n' tumble camping pee in the wilderness freak. In fact it would appear he's the very opposite. But not so. He's not the greatest at putting together a tent or widdling a weapon out of a stick, or even putting a pinewood derby car together in the right direction with everything in the correct holes....but the passion and excitement and administrative know-how is definitely there.

You don't mess with Curt when it comes to the details and planning...ONLY because it's 'for the good of the boys.' This post wasn't supposed to be about Curt but the whole point is that he recently volunteered to help out in Cub Scouts (although not his calling) to help spiff up the program and make sure it was running properly and that awards are purchased and given in a timely manner...for the boys. It generates excitement and a sense of accomplishment when they're rewarded for their achievements say, when they happen instead of 4-6 months later. Our current 'organizers' haven't ever done an Arrow of Light Ceremony...you know, for the highest award in Cub Scouting. To some it wouldn't matter, but for those that know how it's usually run at that level...what a shame. SO a bonus to this is that Curt put together the ceremony for Brayden's Arrow of Light that our cub master and his webelos leader presented

and it was more than just presenting the award...a ceremony that every recipient should have. It was held at a local park, and those who attended could learn about the symbolism in scouting and how very special this award truly is...the only one that 'moves on up' with you into Boy Scouts.

...And a couple of weeks later he went on his first campout as a Boy Scout! He loves his new leaders and it's good to be back with the boys in his age group (he's the youngest of them all!) It co$t a pretty penny to get him ready, but now he's prepared with all his little gadgets and camping gear. They went to a campground here in San Marcos with some other troops and prepared all their meals and completed a five mile hike. How great to be a Boy Scout!

Denial WAS my happy place.

This past week has been somewhat of a 'realization week'...I'm officially out of denial.

Read on.

Watching the news these past couple of weeks makes me want to start collecting spare change, stash it in my walls and hoard every last dollar that can be found. Highest jump in oil prices in a single day ever and I drive a tank (hello...!!!! Haven't we heard of CNG yet?) Wall Street plummeting. Legendary Financial Institutions going awol. Housing crisis apparently not bad enough for said financial institutions to do much to modify and help unless you default on your loan first. A good way to see the bright side of things when you don't have much money invested- not much to lose...

...except the roof over our heads.

What? Did I yell in your ear? That's how I feel. I guess I was feeling unattached several months ago when I posted about "the house that someone else built." But I certainly didn't forsee us as part of the crisis, in the wake of craziness and uncertainty all around us. I should have just listened to a brother / friend / mortgage advisor a year ago when he told us in so many terms to 'get out!' Hindsight is always 20/20, isn't it?

If you've heard the news from one of the kids, yes, it's true. I'm feeling overwhelmed at what lies ahead and occasionally still question why in the world we were supposed to come to this overpriced, under- appreciated, commission-draining money pit in the first place? (besides the fact that our territory in Utah was dissolved and this was the only option to keep our job with Baxter??? And, maybe I wanted to move back home--more than a little bit... to So Cal even though every other family member is scattered throughout the US).

I just keep telling myself that it doesn't matter...I don't have to understand. Okay...so we're losing over 100K with a blink of an eye. Watching our American dream...fourth home in 11 years...quickly go down the tubes. But we really can't wait it out until the CA market decides to flourish again--could be 15 years for all I know. My friends point out that perhaps darling Dr. Daneshmand played a big part in saving Vivie's life--delivering by emergency C-sec when he did maybe playing a big part? Yes, the Lord's hand was the reason. But just maybe our NICU is special. Maybe we just needed to have a trial away from family to watch how everyone could pull resources and come together in a time of need. We sure found some forever friends as a result.  Only Heaven knows and it's not up to me to find out. So, go forward with faith. I think I'm good at that--but apparently we have more lessons to learn...and isn't that the beauty that is LIFE. It sure feels like we came here ... then 9 months later bedrest ... Vivie survived the odds ... crazy first year ... breathe for a second ... and then THIS.

There could be MUCH WORSE things, I know. I'm very aware of our immense blessings. I just never thought we'd be renters once again and have so much financial uncertainty! It is happening to many people who couldn't see it coming. Anyone that really knows me....would know how much of a challenge this is--to be without a home to make my own is like taking the medium away from an artist (not saying I'm an artist, but this is where my sanity comes from!) Guess I have to spread my wings and find a new hobby or modify.

Basically we're 'readying' the house for sale. I've done my research and then done it again. The skinny of it is that it will have to be a short sale because it's worth almost 200K less than what we bought it for 1 1/2 years ago. In the end, we're trying to avoid foreclosure and with 4-5 already sitting empty on my street it looks grim, but we're hoping for the best. It's apparently not easy to get a bank to accept a short sale. Our area has been hit HARD. Harder than hard.

The plan is to follow the prophet's counsel. We came to California debt-free and we fully intend to be that way again. Because there is one stable and known factor in all this...that is, Curt's J-O-B...and finally with a 2 1/2 year history in this SD market we know now what to expect for bonuses and can budget accordingly. Whereas, coming here we had a very different picture in mind... boy didn't that stink the day Baxter changed the commission structure 2 months after we bought at the height of the market. OUCH.

We plan to stay local so we can keep Curt's income and stay with this territory...as in the 'other side of town' in Vista or San Marcos if we can find something we can squeeze into for much less than we're paying now. My feeling? Temecula...here we come. Much more affordable. We've talked about Arizona or Washington for long-term roots once our financial standing is more stable. You know...the roots we fully intended on sticking into that beloved San Diego ground? Only time will tell. But for now? Tie up loose ends...like organizing every drawer, closet, nook & cranny, power washing, carpet cleaning, staging, project-finishing...making this home shine so we can put that for sale sign up and someone else can buy it for a bargain and make it his/her own.

I'm truly saddened. I love our community, I love it that it's a 10 mile drive to the beach, I love it that this street is alive mostly because of our six monkeys. I love the relationships we've built, the routines we have, the school, but I don't love the taxes, melloroos, lack of security and well-being. And I refuse to pretend that all is well on Mulberry Street (or Glencrest Dr. if you please).

So, there you have it. Uncut. Life sure throws a curveball sometimes, doesn't it? And maybe there's a silver lining in all of this (besides getting out of debt). And it's the lessons we take from it and how we handle those curveballs that make all the difference in the world...but it sure can stink in the meantime!!!! I'm just grateful that as we press forward things become a little more clearer...than mud, that is.

Fall is in the air

Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Blended Creme Frappucino yUmMiNeSs.

Fall is in the air so you have the green light to slurp mass quantities now.

It's even yummier when I don't have to fork out $3.85 for a grande.

I try different combinations every time...with whatever I have on-hand. I have used half & half (regular or fat free), vanilla yogurt, plain-'ole milk, or evaporated milk.

If you don't care how many calories you slurp in 2.0 seconds then go for the full-fat kind.

Or Guilt-free ingredients...

either way, still slurpy yumminess at its best. And really, it's good for you!   Kid-approved--they love it for an after-school treat.

Here's the ingredients...add/subtract 'til you get it right for your taste buds. Sometime I do it with a banana...sometimes all pumpkin floats my boat. Sometimes splenda, sometimes brown sugar.

And always always always top off with a nicely-portioned dollop of whip cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon or pumpkin pie spice.

by the way, this yields, LOTS!  A whole blender full to be exact.  

Headache Averted.

A great never-fail use for good 'ole duct tape (duck brand, or whatever).

I just couldn't get the girls to bring down the decibels today, so I found my trusty duct tape, told them I had a surprise for them...they came a' running and this is what they got.

"My, you look great in your duct tape tape today!" 

It reminded me of when I'd take Lexie & Izzie to the NICU together on Sunday mornings. They were bound to squabble or screech over something and I couldn't risk being asked to leave dear sweet baby Viviana...

So I would take the name tag stickers that were given us upon security check-in and cover their mouths with them. We made a game out of it and they responded very well.  Yup, got lots of looks, but I'm certain many-a-mom thanked me under their breath for saving them from a headache due to screeching-Izzie or 'can't hear how loud I really am' Lexie. And it worked...everytime. They even looked forward to it and fought over what color they'd get. I think my mom thought of it...I can't even take the credit.

Thank you, name tag stickers. And thank you, duck brand duct tape.

Headache averted.

I {heart} THREE

I love three.

I love the numerous daily 'secrets' when sound barely comes out as it tickles my ear & makes my tiny ear hairs stand on-end.

I love the gleeful hugs and kisses, whenever I leave or come home.

I love the funny thoughts that flow from 'three'. (usually having to do with 'buttocks or boobies...a weird obsession).

I love how silly 'three' can be.

I love that 'three' is not inhibited by an onlooking crowd...whenever the music moves her, and she struts her stuff.

I love it that 'three' can comfort herself -say, in the middle of the night when she can't get back to sleep.

I love the end-result of potty-training...which has always been 'three' in our house.

I love it that 'three' has not a care in the world....

I love the honesty of 'three' (as in, "your breath stinks...peeyou!...or "you're the bestest mommie EVER!!")

I love that at three..."I can do it by myself."

I love the sweetness & the sassiness of 'three'. ("mom, I love you so much; I think I'm gonna keep you!")

I love that at three "I want to help" is the norm ("mom, here, you need more yipstick...let me help you." OR help with mommie's 'ouchies' or coloring a pretty picture on the new footboard of the bed.)

I love how 'three' reads to me with such imagination.

I love it that at three there apparently is...

a Stinky blankie (as in, "I need my stinky blankie...")

...and a Clean blankie ("but I'll settle for my clean blankie...")

GO FIGURE...the stinky blankie is the one that's clean most often & the favorite.

I love it that at 'three' I can still convince the hairdo to be done my way.

I adore it that 'three' wants me to join her & skip in the parking lot or the aisles of the store...hand in hand.

I love the little lessons and sheer JOY that 'three' teaches me.

Maybe 'three' is why I kept having kids...

And mostly, yes..I'm thinking of my sweet little Izzie with this post, but 'three'---I could just gobble it up!

What's your initial?

I'm a 'tip junkie' fan. A while back Laurie (tip junkie) promoted an etsy store called Studio JK and I fell in love with her style and ideas. I ordered this vinyl initial decal. I didn't want it to go directly on the wall, but rather be preserved for longer than we live in this house...you know, 'the house that someone else built.' So I bought a pre-cut round piece of wood at Home Depot and fab'd it up. How darling is this hanging above McKenzie's PBT lilac daybed? One more project to check off the list which helps to unclutter my guest/ project/ junk /craft room. (you can click on the top series of photos to enlarge them).

Diaper Talk

I get in these creative I-can-do-it-myself moods.  I openly and shamelessly confess, I am a copycat some of the time, but there's always a piece of whatever project I do that has a Shay-spin on it.  When Vivs was a baby- baby (now she's a walking one, so not quite baby baby), I designed and made a diaper/wipe holder and pad all in one.  I posted about it here. It was dang cute and really useful, but just so big it really took up most of my purse.  So, there it sits...all tucked away ...oh, what a shame...Amy  Butler fabric and all.  

My objective really was to alleviate those nappy diapers that are shoved into your purse/diaper bag and that end up looking more like used diapers--not fit for your baby's cute buttocks (as Izzie would say).  So I've been seeing super cute diaper clutches all over that just hold  a diaper or two plus the wipee container...more fit for a purse like mine (you know, makes more room for my junk).  I couldn't just spend the $15 on one, I had to make my own just because.  I know, for me, that satisfaction is a sickness.  So I made the pattern and it really was too wide and not as perfect as the picture in my head.  I know, it's just to hold the stinky things before the stink gets in 'em!  

I realized last night when the clock struck 12...that I had as baby shower to go to this morning in between two soccer games & one football game-with no time to get to beloved Target or the outlets.  

  SO, I whipped out my fabric remnants and went to town... It only took 30 minutes to put this together, from first cut to last pass of the iron.  I cut the sides a little too narrow so two diapers are shoved rather tightly, but each one gets cuter and the design is little better.  Third time's a charm, right?  If you make one of your own  it works better with a heavier-weight fabric (twill or decorator fabric) on the outside, with a lighter-weight cotton coordinate  for the lining.  It's fastened with sew-on velcro and embellished with a button & pom pom cuteness...I think I'll have to make #3 for myself and ditch the trial one:) 

Baby gifts, anyone? If you want to take-it-on yourself, it takes 14" (it's cut with the fold on one side, so really 14"x14") of two coordinating fabrics, 1-2" piece of sew-on velcro and embellishments if you're feeling adventurous today...or at midnight, whatever suits your fancy.

Do you HomeSchool?

I have a soapbox....come join it, or leave it behind-it's a long one!

*I was at the dentist office last week and a mom-of-one was sitting there staring at me as I was trying to keep the kids under control (they were doing a GREAT job of obeying) in the tiny waiting room.  She started asking me parenting advice, as she was expecting her 2nd and just didn't think she could handle two kids under three years old.  I really tried to empathize.

*I took all the kids + cute Spencer Weenig (he was staying with us for a couple days) to the new Children's Museum two weeks ago.  While they were busy slamming themselves against walls lined with mattresses and having a massive pillow fight (IT IS A FEATURE AT THE MUSEUM...my kids were not misbehaving!!!), a couple from LA struck a conversation up with me and thought I was a daycare provider (!!) until she really saw how all 7 kids looked like clones...even Spencer could fit in this family with his coloring.  This couple had their 1.0 child and they were done.  They started asking me all sorts of questions about kids, parenting, two-year-olds.  They even searched me out an hour later and were relieved to find I hadn't yet left so they could ask me more parenting questions.  Since when did I become the expert?

It's funny how people perceive you just because you have a gaggle or a basketball team, or a herd...whatever you'd like to call 'it.' Either they stand in judgement....or they gawk & send a lot of praise.  I do realize that most people just weren't meant to be parents of more than a few---or choose not to be... and bless them for that!  Some days I wonder what that would be like, but most days I'm thankful....especially now that school has started.

*Again, I ventured to OC to take Brayden, and the other kids + Spencer to Sprinkles and then Ruby's on the Huntington Beach Pier for his birthday lunch...just something different.  My kids, Brayden in particular, gets embarrassed when people stare.  He was embarrassed a lot that day as people stared in disbelief.  We get that a lot here in Cali.  It's only because they are two sets of 'stairs'...with a four year break in between.  Two older couples made a point to come up to me at the table and to tell me how well-behaved and beautiful they all were.  

"Bless You" is what I hear a lot.  Yes, I need it.  I need the little snippets of goodness and well-behaved 'moments' so that I don't feel we're running a freak show over here all the time.  It's physically, emotionally, spiritually EXHAUSTING.  And yes, I am blessed, we are blessed.  I need to feel that more often.

Then with all these conversations came THE question .... the one I get a lot--

"Do you homeschool?"  

"Why?  Do I look like I homeschool?"  Do homeschooled children typically act better in public?  Don't know, but my instant answer is always, "I'd rather be shot."  Isn't that awful?  I don't judge those that choose this path, but I guess I really just don't understand it.  So you homeschoolers....educate me!  I'm a proponent of public schools in general, Elementary Education is my BS, experience, and background, so I know the public education side of things.  No, it's not perfect by any means, but I just can't fathom sheltering my children from society.  Do you pull your kids out of the public system because they're little genius' that are getting lost and you don't want them to skip a grade?  Or are you just not getting involved enough in the education process...in the classroom to know really what's going on?  Seriously, I want to know--what motivates you?

I have a 'friend' that is a queen social bee, a very self-centered person generally, goes on 4-6 lavish vacations a year who recently decided to homeschool.  I think it was for the freedom of not having to explain to the schools why her kids were absent for yet another week... with super tanned bodies sporting new island wear.  They quickly ran out of dead grandparents and illnesses. Flexibility...yes, it offers that.  You can stay in your pj's.  Sounds good to me, but not generally a healthy mental thing.  You aleviate the taunting, teasing, bullying that normally occurs in this very rude world.  Unless you belong to our family where taunting and teasing go on constantly anyway.  But does that properly prepare them for normal life experiences?  And curriculum...Christian-based or in my case, Book of Mormon-based...HUGE plus,  BUT aren't we teaching that anyway in our homes?  Shouldn't we already be establishing "A house of prayer, house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God" without homeschooling?

 It takes a generally patient person to be a successful mom of six--jury's still out on how successful I am, but in case you're wondering, I can't fathom homeschooling--   

E V E R!  Not even in my vocab.  THAT takes either a really special saint-of-a-mom or an insane one.  I know quite a few of them.  Mostly they're saints.  Nothing in between.  'Joy school' for little three-year-olds--maybe.   But I really question if homeschool is the best thing for kids in general.  I derive my sanity from the hours of oh, about 8-3.  So maybe I'm selfish?  Or maybe I'm just real and that's my only way of maintaing a healthy balance.  There are just some moms that are more capable, adventurous, more selfless than me.  Or maybe their children really struggle to behave or function in mainstream society so their parents choose to shelter them, or to straighten them out for a period, then send them back to be better citizens?  I don't know--maybe I'm ignorant.

I think it's important for the kids to venture out in the world as little people.  As long as they're being taught righteous principles and virtues at home, I have NO PROBLEM with them being taught by very capable teachers at school.   Don't they need to learn how to pick good friends?   You get the good with the bad, yes...but socialization and interacting with peers is so important...learning what normal voice tones are and learning to get along with a myriad of different personalities and situations, having the opportunity for leadership experiences...making their way in this crazy world.  

And the best part? They know they have a pair of super supportive parents and the open arms of a loving family to come home to that have gained some extra sanity from 8-3...everyday....{IF their room was clean & their job was done --otherwise it's not such a loving mom greeting them on the other side of the door.}

I guess life is a series of choices, and hopefully prayerful ones.  These choices are the beauty of our agency, and I suppose some are cut out for the task and some are just not,  I'm a  N.O.T.

Do You Have a Happy Dance?

Back to school...it's a blessed phrase, really.  

Brayden (6th) First day of middle school:

(can't tell if he's nervous or annoyed at dad taking a picture...maybe a little of both)

McKenzie (4th) 

Monson (3rd):

Lexie preschool M, W, F

Izzie preschool T, Th:

This is what Viviana thought:

not really...it's just the funny 'fro leftovers after her cute hairdo yesterday.

And this is how THIS momma felt about it all today:  

(pretend you don't see g's--I just did  a happy dance jump move and I was still flying-pretty good self-timer pic, huh!).

Today after doing the drop-off's and saying the goodbyes, Lexie, Vivie, and I headed to Market Street Cafe for our traditional breakfast back-to-school celebration with some friends.  Lexie decided she wanted to go to the beach during our together-time, so we hung out at Tamarack just watching the surfers, listening to the crashing waves, writing our names in the sand, and watching the pelicans scavenge for food while Izzie found her independence for a couple of hours at preschool.   Two is a lot different than six!  I'm grateful for my alone time with these little lovers of mine! (Vivie was sleeping in a nice cool car with a breeze going through it 5 feet away from us).