Are you feeling it too?! This summer has surprisingly zoomed by, yet I'm officially DONE...
F i N i S h E d...
I want this ship to sail! I've had a tough time these last couple of weeks simply surviving mommyhood and feeling on top of things, in control, and productive. Amazing...considering this summer is a true break from our experiences of last summer. I have a million things I've wanted to do with the kids, but I can't, because how do you reward a 9 year old's rants and outbursts or a 4 year old trying to mimic that 9 year old or better-yet, two of them constantly going at each other displaying a true "I'm really not fond of you" attitude towards each other?How about when you hear "I want a new mommy." I'm pretty tough, but ouch!
And in this house computer time and xbox time is earned....not a sweet fancy and way of life like it is for me, KIDDOS! I earn it by having the title 'mom.' So get used to it, MONKEYS! No, it's not unfair, I earned my keep.
How many days can one or more of my children wake up on the wrong side of the bed? Curt was out of town for three days last week which I'm certain contributes to my inept feelings. But I started a new thing. I quite like it. The boys were fighting in their room. When they fight it consits of throwing things...whatever is in reach like oh, a lamp or a stool or maybe some books--anything goes with them. It was 10:30 and they still hadn't settled their differences. I was DONE. I took them by the ears (a technique my mom taught me) down the stairs and threw them both on the front porch then turned off the light until they could work it out and hug and make-up in order to come inside. Sure, sweetness is in them...somewhere deep down inside...I just know it is...
...And then they came through and showed me. Yes, I know they had some prodding from their Ama, who is my other sounding board besides Curt. I was half-way through a really crappy day this last week when I found this on posted on my bathroom mirror: It literally brought me to my knees in tears. It made my day...it more than made my week and everything was okay after that.
Then I woke up to the kids' footsteps and 'shh's' to one another as they tip-toed in my room to surprise me with breakfast in bed on Saturday morning. All on their own. I was a bit surprised
...it's not Mother's Day! It's not even my birthday! (not my best look..I know). It's these random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty (okay, not senseless, but that's the quote) that truly make being a mom worth it and wonderful at the end of the day. I know my kids love me by the things they do and in some twisted way it makes me feel like less of a failure in this department. Oh my, raising six very busy, loud, active and expressive children is a true challenge. How on earth did we get SIX outspoken and LOUD kids? A joy much of the time...but truly, a challenge with each passing year. So when you think to yourself or say to me, "I don't know how you do it" Well I don't either, other than that I have to put myself in a place where I feel 'carried.' When I'm doing the things, ALL the things I know I should be doing the load seems lighter. I do it because I always wanted to be a mom and boy, did I ask for it! But I do it one day at a time. And I do melt down and feel defeated which leads me to think that maybe I need happy pills??? For the record, I do adore, love, find JOY and happiness in motherhood...most of the time.
But I'm still ready for September 2nd.
Curt just came home with flowers in hand--how special! They were from the kids....the older three had sent him on an errand. Every mom needs these random little 'loves'! Thank you!
10 comments:
I'm so proud of Brayden for taking the challenge and for the special note he did for you. Save it and read it often!
The kids asked if they could let Dad in on their secret - they thought up the flowers all on their own - way to go, job well done!!!!!
There will be times in your"mature" life that you will look back on these times fondly and wish you had just one more summer with your little ones - I know I do.
I love you, Mom
Lexie's little comment, "I'm dramatic and exhausted," reminds me of something you said at about her same age.
"I'm so boring!"
I think it was said on one of our summer days when you six kids wanted to be entertained. What do they say about what goes around comes around?
You are amazing! I love that picture of you getting breakfast in bed -- so sweet. I love your new hairdo by the way!
AaAh the joys of motherhood! Jesse has been pestering Grace to no end lately and she is the most annoying when she gets annoyed. I am definitely ready for school to start...it starts next monday (the 18th!) Neener, neener! (But I only have one of the three going to school!)
I have learned that the only moms that really believe they are doing a good job are the mom's whose kids are under 2. Once the kids get a (mouthy) mouth on them, your days of feeling like you are doing a great job are less frequent.
I have mostly quiet kids (with the notable exception of our Jos) but even the quiet ones can work their "magic" on our home. Some days I just want to crawl under the covers and say "I want my mommy". It's nice to have other friends that experience the same. We wouldn't trade it for anything, of course, but some days we just need to know that the failures are okay too. (And I do take secret delight in how awful my day is, because even though it is painful, it does make good copy.) Motherhood is about the funniest thing that can happen to a person.
So very sweet:) Happy day.
I love my kiddos, but I'm looking forward for school too. Funny how 2 tots at home sounds like a piece of cake.
Right there with you babe. I'm so glad I've got "plans" the next couple of weeks so I don't go crazy!!!
September 2nd is the day of the happy dance!
Wow, how sweet of them to do such a nice thing to remind you of how much you mean to them! I can't believe you have to wait until Sept 2nd, the kids here go back to school on Monday.
They are so sweet! That would be a nice payoff, for sure. Just yesterday as I have all four kids climbing all over the truck cart at Ralph's, I had to count to ten slowly and exhale deeply, thinking, "If I have to come to grocery store ONE more time with all my children I will kill myself."
So, in all the insanity of trying to get kids ready for school to start (ours starts on Monday HA! NANNERS!) My house is DESTROYED! I'm with you on being "FINISHED"!
I came back from getting Ellie and Rachel's haircut to the most disgusting house ever! Cereal all over the floor mixed in with sticky otterpop stuff on the floor, not a single chair or barstool in the kitchen was where it was supposed to be, flour and water mixed into one of my copper "display" pans on my pot rack, dirty socks on my countertops, random toys broken and strewn from heck to highwater....NEED I GO ON! Is this sounding familiar?
Only thought of consolation--they go back on MONDAY. :)
P.S. Thanks you for your darling text and "birthday cake" you sent to me on my b-day this week--you are sweet!
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