Public Speaking

I truly can't remember the last time I spoke in Sacrament Meeting...until today. I'm certain it was like 7 or 8 years ago when we first moved to American Fork. WOW. I have a fear of public speaking which stems back to my teenage years.

My dad always expected us to memorize our talks and perhaps have a few talking points, but to mainly speak from the spirit and the heart. All fine and dandy, until 'the day it happened.' It was dreadful for me. It was my turn to speak--I think it was when we first moved to Oak Park, CA, back in the day when whole families spoke in Sacrament meeting...so I was 17. I had written notes on index cards and apparently it was too many notes for my dad's liking. He wanted to 'stretch me' I suppose...only he can say why he did this. But just before I was to get up to speak he said "let me see your notes" and snagged them right out of my hands, never to return them.

I stood up, horrified, ticked, embarrassed, as I rattled off a half-hearted talk that would have been really good had I been armored with my notes. What I should have done was told the congregation that since he had my notes in hand, then he would have to stand and deliver my talk for me, and proceed to sit down. Didn't have the guts, quick reaction, or the 'gall' back then I guess.

So it's scarred me, I suppose. I now have to write my talks out, point-by-point. I don't read them, but at least it's there if I get 'stage fright'. And so it was today...the culminating report for a challenge our family was given back in May. For the last two months our family has been living what has been coined "The Covenant Concepts." Basically, it's a pre-missionary effort that is meant to help stretch us...to get us on the right path to find opportunities to share this wonderful gospel in a more friendly, less obtrusive way.

We were already doing most of these things, but the challenge really helped us to double our efforts and focus our family. We were asked to:

1. Study the scriptures daily
2. Say personal/family prayers daily
3. Double monthly temple attendance
4. Remove something from your life that's holding you back spiritually
5. Invite non-members to a family activity or to your home

So the rest is basically my talk as I first wrote it after talking about the actual challenge---only for journaling purposes. Really, it's LONG--I just wanted to include it for my blog book. Brayden, McKenzie, and Monson did a phenomenal job delivering the talks they 100% prepared by themselves. I was thoroughly impressed. And of course, Curt took it up a notch and brought it all together beautifully. There's a reason he's the Gospel Doctrine teacher.

In the last General Conference, Elder Robert Steuer talked about The Power of Light and Truth. He said, “For us to prosper in these times, these unstable, unsure and so very difficult and trying times…spiritual light MUST burn within us.” Elementary spiritual concept, I know. The thought came to me that we need constant little reminders that this life IS our probationary time…to help us leap into something more beautiful…our reward for remaining faithful. We obviously know this, but it’s so easy to get caught up in our children’s activities, drama with our friends, our next shopping trip or vacation…getting the kids to soccer practice, finding time to make it to the grocery store…having the latest and greatest gadgets…the daily grind. There’s a place for all those things, otherwise we’d be even more peculiar than we already are. BUT we MUST find time to obtain this spiritual light and ensure that the truths of the gospel of Jesus Christ fill our souls. And that is where I believe these covenanted concepts come in…

Actually, lucky for us, this was already a habit in our family that we’ve continued on and off again, since Pres. Hinckley’s challenge a couple of years ago. So, our outcome, at least to us, didn’t seem as remarkable as maybe it would have been had we not been doing these things before the bishopric asked us to participate in this challenge. I do know that our motives, desires, and efforts were doubled though. So you ask, “What sorts of changes did you see in your family?”

I would like to say we saw in increase of love, mutual respect, Christ-like behaviors, you know, six little angels walking around 24/7. In actuality, we experienced the same organized chaos, as I like to call it, we had previously with six kids. BUT, I know that the adversary was very well aware of our efforts, as we have felt the temptations more sharply than before. He’d like nothing more than to stomp on our righteous efforts and endeavors and make us feel like our plan was not worthwhile. But when we are full of the spirit and strong because of the things we are choosing to do, the Holy Ghost makes us strong and Satan can’t crush us. And I would hate to think how we as parents would have handled our challenges without this spiritual armor…this challenge.

I know our children have an increased love and understanding and foundation of the scriptures. I don’t remember having this same experience as a child. We really tried to make the scriptures come alive and really talked in detail about different scripture stories, sometimes acting them out..always applying them to our day. We didn’t simply read the b of m page by page…cover to cover…we focused on the stories, parables and lessons.

A favorite tool in our home is the eight volumes of the illustrated stories of the B of M. We’ve been through those a couple of times cover to cover and it really helps keep little kids attention with the pictures and simplified verses. This time, a simple white board was one of our tools as Curt would draw his own illustrations or diagrams to help the kids ‘see’ the particular story we were talking about. The kids loved it because they also got a turn to draw about the scriptures. Another note, let’s not forget that the scriptures also include the prophet’s voice…so stories found in the Ensign and Friend magazines. We use those quite a bit as well... especially on the nights when we were JUST DONE and needed to rush them off to bed asap.

I have to say, specifically with prayer and scriptures, Lexie & Izzie even loved getting involved and having their turn to read. They would repeat verses and are also beginning to memorize the Articles of Faith like the others did at a young age. It’s funny...very un-Mormon-like, we have an unconventional perhaps silly practice in our home. When we say family prayers Lexie is the one 100% of the time to volunteer. And then after her, Izzie of course wants a turn as she mimics Lexie. They actually throw fits if we don’t let them pray with the family every night, so it’s become somewhat of a tradition for Curt to call on someone to say a prayer, followed by,the little girls. We figure it’s a righteous desire, and what better way to teach a correct principle?

The temple…I love the temple. I know I gained a deeper love for genealogy and temple attendance during the stake’s temple project coming up on 2 years ago. This challenge helped me to continue that and to actually make the choice to attend more often---it IS a choice we make. It’s difficult, however, to leave six kids behind and to make it to the temple WITH Curt. So we usually play tag and one of us goes while the other watches the kids. But my dear friend, Erin Uda, helped me in this effort by calling me up one day (not knowing our covenant concept challenge) and arranging for us to go and leave her with our three youngest kids. I’m grateful to her for rendering help us in the wake of our challenges because she listened to and abided by the spirit. I was able to more than double my monthly attendance previous to this challenge. And now I’m excited to continue my genealogy efforts as there is much to be done on the McLaughlin side.

The challenge to remove something from my life that’s holding me back. It was a no-brainer for me…there were two things. One I failed at…or I will say, I’m still working on and very well aware of...and the other thing I took care of right away—I will only say that this relieved a heavy heart and some burdens I could not 100% control and has helped me to feel more ‘free.’ The interesting thing was that I had already planned on ‘removing’ especially this 2^nd thing that was holding me back spiritually before the ‘assignment.’ This challenge only helped me to let the spirit guide me more fully to know when and how to accomplish it. I know we have a mindful Heavenly Father who loves us, knows us personally, and really knows what we need to become progress in this life.

There is a story about an experience that Presdient Boyd K. Packer and his wife had when he was serving as a mission president.

“We scheduled zone conferences. For each one, Sister Packer baked a three-tiered cake, … decorated beautifully—thick, colorful layers of frosting, trimmed beautifully, and with ‘The Gospel’ inscribed across the top. When the missionaries were assembled, with some ceremony we brought the cake in. It was something to behold!

“As we pointed out that the cake represented the gospel, we asked, ‘Who would like to have some?’ There was always a hungry elder who eagerly volunteered. We called him forward and said, ‘We will serve you first.’ I then sank my fingers into the top of the cake and tore out a large piece. I was careful to clench my fist after tearing it out so that the frosting would ooze through my fingers, and then as the elders sat in total disbelief, I threw the piece of cake to the elder, splattering some frosting down the front of his suit. ‘Would anyone else like some cake?’ I inquired. For some reason, there were no takers.

“Then we produced a crystal dish, a silver fork, a linen napkin, and a beautiful silver serving knife. With great dignity I carefully cut a slice of the cake from the other side, gently set it on the crystal dish, and asked, ‘Would anyone like a piece of cake?’

“The lesson was obvious. It was the same cake in both cases, the same flavor, the same nourishment. The manner of serving either made it inviting, even enticing, or uninviting, even revolting. The cake represents the gospel. How are we serving it?" Just something to think about as we approach our friends, acquaintances, neighbors…

As a family we found more opportunities to get out and mingle with our neighbors, invite some of them over and engage in conversation. For me, it was not the intention to shove a B of M in their face and share the gospel, but to build relationships and really get to know them. I have no doubt that these four families can see the light we hopefully carry and sense the happiness we feel and little seeds have been planted. It was a nice excuse to get out and know our neighbors a little bit more.

I have felt the promptings to share the gospel with another one of my childhood friends. This is not any normal friend. She is someone who was killed 17 years ago with three others in a freak plane accident. She has always been near and dear to my heart and for the last couple of months I have felt the urge and the nudge to prepare her work and take it through the temple. I don’t know the first thing about her parent’s current situation other than that they’ve always been devout Catholics. I know they live in the SF Valley and I would have to gain her parents’ permission which actually scares me to pieces and makes me sometimes want to dismiss this feeling I’ve had. I hope I can use Pres. Packer’s analogy and find a way to share the gospel in this challenging and very unique circumstance.

We were not perfect in this assignment, but in the end, I wouldn’t want to know what additional stresses or problems we would have faced had we not been trying to live these concepts. It wasn’t really difficult and I think it’s something every ward family is certainly capable of. Hey, if WE can gather our SIX monkeys to do it, you can certainly do it. It’s a series of choices. And the thing is…I don’t think it’s THAT hard to live the gospel. But I do think it takes real effort and sacrifice to live the gospel courageously. And I’m going to have to gain some real courage to act on this nudge I spoke about. It’s also a choice and as we live in harmony with the light and truth taught by Jesus Christ and his Prophets we will see more clearly our eternal destiny…and isn’t that the point of stretching in the gospel? We plan on continuing with these things in our home—it can only help us as we continue with persistence and dedication. We are promised in D&C 50:24 that He that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day.” I want to be among that group of people to keep learning, growing, and stretching….to become the mother, the wife, the friend, neighbor, teacher, daughter, sister, that Heavenly Father intended me to be so that in the end I can be told, “well, done, though good and faithful servant."