Thursday, July 10, 2008

I guess Lexie's haircut is MY therapy.

BEAR with me while I step on my soapbox for a minute.

Growing up I was NOT ALLOWED to have short hair, not even medium-length hair. If it was up to my dad completely, it would have been Crystal Gayle long...sit on it long...mop the floor with it long...and I'm not even kidding! Every time my mom would trim the ends to keep them healthy, or cut any more than 1/2" my dad would go ballistic. I'm certain it would have ruined his Father's Day, Christmas, his Birthday, and I'm sure Ground Hogs Day if I would have just ignored his 'rules' and did what I wanted. (There's a few stories behind 'ruining' holidays and haircuts in my family growing up).
In fact I remember VERY WELL the day I talked my mom into cutting bangs for me when I was 12. After all I had to spike them up 3 feet from my head and 3 feet out so that I would be "in-style" entering middle school! C'mon...the 80's in full swing! Ohhh,I'm sure my mom paid for that. And yes, it was ugly. But it was just one of those control things-I suppose. I was just never allowed to chop it and I was generally a good obedient girl...too obedient sometimes. But sometimes parents do know best... my dad was kind of 1/2 right. It really did look nice long, with no bangs. For heaven's sakes...it's just HAIR! It will grow back! But this goes right along with never being allowed to pierce my ears (until I just got courageous and DID it with my mom when I was 18...see??? I told you...therapy).
We've chosen to give our children agency in regards to their looks (within reason, of course). I feel like if we teach them well and allow them freedoms they will learn on their own and not rebel or resent...still, within reason and age-appropriate, of course. I've bleached the boys hair before because they wanted to see what it would be like (YUCK), I've let them grow it out with all their friends and eventually they wanted it short again, cause again, YUCK. I've let McKenzie be the 'owner' of her hairstyle... and now Lexie.

Relinquish control...but it's healthy and it's wise, I believe. Thirty years from now they won't be able to come back to me wondering why they had to look a certain way just to please me or be a certain way because of my personal opinions. I don't know...parenting is definitely learned, and it's difficult. I've gone completely the other direction, at least in this department. I don't want Lexie's identity to be her hair...unless that's what she wants. Of course, after a couple of decades of not being allowed to cut my hair, once I reached adulthood I just never did because long is what looked good on me, and it was part of my identity. This is why my new cut is such a big deal for me. And why did it take 35 years?! Therapy! I do still think long is ME though.

So as I decided to donate a little bit of what I've been blessed with... Lexie wanted to do the same. She was super excited to do it and her cute little stacked bob is perfect for her personality. On the way to the salon she said, "Mom, I can still be Sleeping Beauty and Rapunzel and just pretend that I have long hair, right?" "Of course you can!" She was so excited, such a great sport, and the star of the salon today at ULTA. And look! Two ponies 14" long will make a couple of little girls really really happy! (mine was just shorter--13") Thank you, Lexie, for doing this with me! Love you more! Update...we got home and Izzie wants a turn now. I told her she has to grow it 3 more inches so we can donate it too, and then she can have it cut 'just like Lexie's.' Oh, what have I started!

17 comments:

Jessica said...

I think you both look so cute. I bet you will love the coolness of shorter (I can't say short -- mine is short) hair in the summer. I think it looks great.

Amy Proctor Timmerman said...

I love bobs on little girls. Addie gets a million compliments on her hair everywhere we go.

Emily said...

There you went and ruined Y's 4th of July and Pioneer Day, hahaha. Just kidding. You and Lex honestly look SO cute! Your hair isn't as short as I thought it would be, and it's totally a flattering cut. From the time I was two I always had hair down my back (not nearly as abundant as yours and Lex's though!) and it feels weird washing your hair now, huh?! I'm still trying to get used to mine but it's a great summer feel. Anyway, seriously cute looks for both of you!

katierasmussen said...

Darling!!!!! Lex looks so cute! Tell her I'm so proud of her!

rebecca said...

Your bang story is hilarious. I just crack up remembering Matt dying his hair black and growing it out "ruining" pictures at the US Open.

We have some hilarious memories in my family as well of bad haircuts, self-haircuts, bad perms, WAY dated styles (big hair).... it was sometimes momentarily traumatic, but it really was funny and we look back and LAUGH!!!

Lexie's hair is oh, so cute!!! I think the growing out and then donating ponytail cycle is wonderful.

queenieweenie said...

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!!!

Those eyes are amazing.

Heather said...

I love her hair. It looks so cute, and she does look a little like Mattie now! Lexie's hair is fuller, but Mattie's is growing on me more and more each day. She did a great thing and I'm so glad that you both were able to do this together.

Hazen5 said...

Still stunning! I love our girl's hair. One dark, one light hair-twins!

Julie K said...

So cute! And I think it is amazing that she realized at such a young age she didn't HAVE to have her hair long just because all the Disney princesses do. Smart cookie.
Funny how important hair is, isn't it. I have all those stories of dreaded pixie cuts, you weren't allowed to cut yours. I think you are a great mom to allow them some room to wiggle. Yes, parents are usually right about what would look/work best, but you just gotta let kids figure some stuff out on their own. Good job, Mom!

Julie K said...

Just back to say gracias for all of your nice remarks (still hate the pics, btw) and girl, how did you miss that other blog for so long? Here's the deal. I have had the black blog (my ranty blog, as I sometimes refer to it) for a while now and recently realized that I should be chronicling family things that really didn't deserve the snark treatment. Thus the giraffe blog was born! I call it grandma-friendly, although I still inject a bit of snark in that one too. Can't help myself. So feel free to hang out at both. Yes, I am a greeder grabber and need two blogs.

Michele said...

Cutie pie! Can't wait to see you both in person tomorrow.

Halversen Happenings said...

You both look great with your new haircuts! Your hair will make a beautiful wig for someone in need. Ron's kind of like your dad with Jacklyn's hair. His only sister doesn't have a lot of hair and never was able to grow it long, so he loves that his daughter has long hair and likes mine better long. After about the third time I cut my hair off he got over it all. ;)

Jan Kate Brower Arnell said...

Your bang story... made me shake my head and laugh at the same time. When our kids started attending school in Utah (in the '90's) the spiked bangs were still in FULL swing and stayed that way for another decade. I guess that is what made me laugh. I think donating hair is a great way for girls (and ladies) to truely give of themselves. You are a great mom!

Marla said...

OK, Lexie would look cute with a buzz...but this hairdo fits her so well. Love it!

Marla said...

OK, Lexie would look cute with a buzz...but this hairdo fits her so well. Love it!

Pamela Anderson said...

I guess your hair is "short" for you but that would be long hair to me. I can't believe you cut that much off and still had that much left. You both look great. I always wondered what was behind your Dad's hair obsession...maybe if he had been bald or something...maybe he had a bad experience with a girl with short hair in his youth...

flip flop mama said...

Your hair is darling! I like Lexie looks really cute short too. I had the opposite growing up: my mom wouldn't let me grow my out. Finally when I was in 10th grade I did and didn't cut it for years. Oh the things parents do to us! LOL

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