A Birthday Comedy

While making the perfect birthday dinner for Curt, Izzie comes home with a foreign object (polly pocket shoe) shoved up her nostril. She's not too alarmed...still dancing around wondering why she's sneezing every 2 seconds. Dr. Mommie puts down the large serving fork and performs surgery (that same fork just about made it into her nose instead of the tweezers----yum). ER averted..wheeew!

Curt came home from running one of our kids somewhere and went across the street to gather the kids...then UNgracefully tumbles down the Parry's porch stairs, twists his shoulder, gouches his leg, and bonks his head, then limps home with his pride in his back pocket. Happy Birthday, honey. Try watching where you walk next time.

After Curt stumbles home he walks in and the little girls greet him with, "You want some cake?" Before he can answer, they both reach up to the island and just dig their little hands into the cake and pull out a handful...for their daddy to try. YUM. Who needed a pretty cake anyhow? Nothing that a little frosting can't fix.

Curt looks bewildered and outloud wonders 'WHY' when he opens an electric air pump. "Why would I need that when there's Sean across the street who can pump up the kids' balls & tires?" I just gave him an evil stare and said "You're welcome for the useful and very thoughtful gift." (and then jokingly told Bray to go hide the 'big gifts'--the ipod and digital frame, because he didn't deserve them)!

Izzie & Lexie fight over the gifts and who is going to open the next one, (They think it's theirs because it's wrapped in purple), and WHY, when they open it up and it's a dress shirt they look so puzzled that "this is not mine, where's my present, mom!" "No, sweetheart, we don't have Christmas every month."

I labor over a nice dinner and get it all on the table and a quarrel ensues over who sits where and "that's not my job" is the only thing I hear from my monkeys when asked to set the table. Curt is so upset at the kids' attitudes that he has to walk out to avoid saying something he doesn't mean...on his birthday. (The ONLY thing he told the kids he wanted for his birthday was for everyone to get along and there to be NO arguing!) Apparently we got him gifts instead. Then the kids remind me that I said I wasn't doing another big homemade dinner again--just a few short weeks ago (see Christmas Eve post). I should have been the one to walk out.

I place all 39 candles in the yummy homemade cake (with a to-die-for ganache) and just as I light the last one with a quick puff Curt blows them out forgetting that on birthdays we first sing and then get the camera ready. Oh well, no pictures to prove he's actually 39. Maybe he wanted it that way. Guess birthday routines are hard to remember when they happen EIGHT TIMES A YEAR AT OUR HOUSE! Next year, I'll remember to remind him how it goes. (Good thing Curt has a sense of humor and can laugh at himself as I poke fun).

Lexie & Izzie attack Brayden, who is more than 3x their age and wrestle him to the ground...Izzie at the back end has his pants pulled down to his knees, therefore, MOONING all of us in the family room, while Lexie is sitting on his head pinning him to the ground. What a sight! And this boy plays football? My girls are much, much stronger than my boys. No, the camera wasn't ready to go for the bribery pictures..darnit! I want a do-over! We were all rolling laughing so hard.

After being tucked-in for the night, Lexie commissioned Izzie to do her dirty work and beckon Dad (they know I won't oblige) from the top of the stairs for something for them to eat and drink. Didn't I just make a yummy huge meal? See, what's the point when oatmeal and a sippy with chocolate milk is what they want anyway. Lesson learned...again. BTW, she was wearing a Roman hat, and had a sword...really. I guess maybe she thought mommie was going to come instead...smiles....

And as I'm writing this the morning after, I have 4 kids who are screaming at each other--Mons is crying on the ground at the bottom of the stairs having just been pushed down from the top by McKenzie (I guess Monson's related to his Dad). I'm getting yelled at by Iz and Lex to help them get dressed while Iz is pulling my hair trying to style it in her 2-year-old way. Izzie has chocolate frosting and ice-cream all over her body and cake crumbs are strewn from one end of the house to the other. (What's wrong with cake & ice cream for breakfast?) Yes, I'm trying to ignore my children and have tunnel vision so I can finish this post instead. Where are my priorities!!! And WHY do the kids have 3 weeks off school for Christmas??? Obviously the person who designed that certainly doesn't have children. And it's only 9 am...I can tell it's going to be a L O N G day. Gotta go figure out a plan to keep six monkeys busy before one mommie goes insane. I LOVE my children...no really, I do.