My latest sewing project was so RUDELY interrupted & permanently put on hold this morning by some very unexpected news that came out of left field... and now after the heart-sunken feeling, numbness, and just trying to make sense of it...
We're trying to deal, we're trying to process it and move baby steps forward and maybe seek some joy that may be had in all of this. Yeah right.
JOY. in. THIS. maybe not today...
Where a door closes, a window opens...yadda yadda yadda. We know as we go through difficult times it brings our family closer together, and we've had quite a lot of that kind of family togetherness lately. Like ever since we moved to California 4 years ago.
Am I to be grateful? I'm really trying.
This morning we received news that Curt was laid off from his job (6 years & counting) with Baxter... completely unforeseen and unanticipated.
You're only as good as your last 30 days when it comes to budgets, numbers, & stretch goals in this cut-throat heartless corporate world.
I know, not the worst news ever in this economy where unemployment is so high. But when it's a complete surprise and it's YOU, it evokes different emotions that we just weren't prepared to deal with. (with the shock... Izzie saw me and said....shocked herself, "Daddy, is that how mommie cries?) Then I started laughing. {Love} Izzie.
Happy New Year. Completely shoved us to our knees...partly because I literally lost footing with this shocker {and it was either fall to my knees or on my butt with shock} and partly because we need
some major divine guidance. Fast.
We're still numb after a day of simplifying and cutting out extra expenses. Sacrifice isn't a foreign concept to our family, and it was humbling and sweet to hear the kids' reactions when we gathered them to talk about sacrifice, simplifying, & pulling together to get through this without completely losing our minds & tempers:
Kenz & Bray--"You can have my money to pay the bills."
Kenz & Mons-"Dad, you can have our phone since you won't have one."
Kenz & Mons--"We can ride our bikes to/from school so you can save gas (TWO miles)."
Lexie & Izzie- "Dad, maybe you can be the ice cream man now instead!"
Lexie - "Or, maybe you can work at Costco or be the boss at IN-'N'-Out so we can eat whenever we want. (Now, they're thinking)
Izzie-"I'm so sorry you lost your job, Daddy."
Thank heaven for little kids to bring a sense of humor (and compassion) to help lighten the load we carry as parents.
I'm feeling a wee bit grateful that:
*at least we are not tied to this house (other than a rental contract).
*We don't have to stay in bankrupt California (even though my heart is here).
*Deep deep down somewhere I do actually welcome the chance to become a cowgirl & live on a farm (NOT a Utah one) and have my kids feed chickens & milk cows & have space to run as far as the eyes can see...
*At least we can run far far away if need be.
*Curt's Masters Program IS mostly online...
*Or, we can stay put if that's how it all works out.
I know the kids are resilient, but I so NEVER envisioned them jumping from school to school.
I struggle with uprooting them yet again if that's how the cards play out.
Yes, they will survive. This isn't that bad...none of our kids have died, Curt doesn't have a terminal illness, we didn't lose our minds yet. It's not that bad other than the {not so} tiny detail that we don't have an ample savings to get us through yet since our last financial crazy only a few short months ago.
For now I'm gonna run far, far away in my head, and go watch a movie and wake up tomorrow hoping this was just a really icky nightmare and when I come-to and realize I have to figure out how to rob Peter to pay Paul...then I'll continue to simplify until we can find some
new hope on the horizon.
