Sweet moments with Lexie

• Said DAILY multiple times..."I love you so much I just can't stop {squeezing} {hugging} {kissing} you!"

Lately Lexie is really concerned about her future and wants to be sure that there is order to things.  

• "Where is my husband now?" (She's already dreaming of her husband and talks about certain boys being 'in her eye last night'  translation:  in her dreams.)
  

• "What happens when I am a woman and my clothes don't fit me?" (meaning when she grows out of the ones she's wearing now...she is concerned with what she'll wear when she is 'big' like me...funny girl.  Yeah, I'm concerned with what I'm wearing too--or at least the size~!)
  

• "When I am a woman I want my husband to be just like Daddy." 

• It's a morning ritual for Lexie to come jump in bed with me and cuddle.  One morning, she asked with great excitement,  "Mom, When am I going to see Heavenly Father again? I miss him." 
  

Me: Lex...when you die you'll go back to your Heavenly Father and you'll get to see Jesus too.

Lex: Mom, I just really miss my Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother.

Me: What do you remember about heaven?  

Lex: I remember Samuel.  He was HF's son and he stayed with HF.  HF told me a secret and I can't tell you.  It's just our special secret.  I will only tell you when we get back to Heaven. 

Either she's a BIG dreamer & story-teller, or she truly remembers something.  How I cherish these sweet moments with you, my sweet precious Lexie.

 

Blurb blurb blurb......

I am putting on the finishing touches of my blurb blog book...for 2007!  Wow, what a process...my editing fingers are tired--isn't there some sort of new diagnosis for tired fingers from texting and typing?

For those that don't know, visit blurb.com and upload their software to your computer, and you can then slurp up your blog to the software and go to town creating a book out of all of your great entries and photos... it wasn't working with blogger for a while, but now it is... so go slurp!

What I learned is that I don't post enough pictures on my blog (thus, the last entry of Vivie's faces)...I'm way too selective in what I share compared with the amount of photos that I take.  I had to go through my photo files and add quite a few photos to my 2007 book to make it more complete.

I also learned that all the cutesie layouts and storyboards I've been doing lately and uploading to flickr don't really work wonderfully with the blurb pre-set page layouts.  They are too low-res to work in the blurb book, so when I do my '08 book I will need to go back to my original files and upload from there.  You can also upload from picasa and some other hosts, which is nice.  If I created my layouts in a full-bleed size for the 10x8 landscape book I chose, it might work, but I'm not so sure I like a cutesie scrapbook-like blog book anyhow... 

***(note--you can upload from flickr if you use that as your photo storage and sharing tool, but what I'm talking about is the storyboards I upload to flickr and then to my blog that are 12x12)

However, using photoshop to change my photos to enhance or edit them works very well, perhaps with a little bit of journaling right on the photo, as I sometimes do.  The photos should be 300 dpi...that is the most important thing for a nice printout.  

The blurb pages are not customizable at this time (layouts are preset) and therefore, so are the photo/text layout sizes.  A lot of my time in editing this was cropping photos in photoshop at 300 dpi to the dimensions of the photo layouts I chose in the book.  

I also found that rather than using their preset stripes and other designed backgrounds, it looked cleanest and sharpest using one preset background color with different photo and text layouts. After tinkering with some different layouts and backgrounds, I ended up used a black background with white text for a uniform look throughout the book.  

You can add page ornaments on top and bottom, as well as borders around your photos in blurb.  It spices it up just enough to end up with a clean yet sophisticated and sharp book about your family!

Once my blurb layouts were complete I had 126 pgs for my blog from October-December 2007 alone... my layouts were quite a bit of TEXT... I learned that I am definitely NOT short, sweet, & to the point with my writing style.  And I decided that to keep 2007 to itself and to make it comprehensive.  Since I started my blog so late in the year, I added in my '07 photos prior to blogging (including enough of Vivie to show her story by photos alone), since it was a pretty important year.  So I'm ending up with 162 pages for 2007.

I'm going to make a separate book with ALL of Vivie's photos to tell her story, including all of my email entries and journal entries that I wrote while in the hospital as well as her updates throughout those vital first months.

What a process...  and I'm sure blurb will only become more customizable in time.  But for now, if you keep it under 160 pages, you can choose the option of a silk 100 lb. paper which I'm told prints up super nice.  Mine is 162 pages, so I'm going to have to cut out somewhere!  For 121-160 pages 10x8 landscape, hardcover with silk finish paper, the cost is just over $60 with shipping. It's about $15 less for a soft cover.  My friend had a great idea of getting a hardbound (with a dust-jacket) to keep nice and clean, as well as a soft-bound specifically for the kids to enjoy. 

Now, I'm on to 2008, and thinking I am going to be BUSY for a long while putting together books.  My digital photos need a home so that the kids can see their lives and we can enjoy the stories these pictures will tell.  I'm going to try out the Mac books....what have your experiences been with shutterfly and any other digital photo book brands?

Viviana's many faces

Viviana's personality is in full-bloom these days.  It's easy to communicate with her based on facial expressions alone.  She loves to make people react...family, friends, and strangers alike.  Miss friendly waves to everyone and makes her presence known wherever we may be...basketball games, the grocery store, church...I am told that she entertains the congregation behind us in church.  This is a window into Viviana's MANY faces:

A quiet house spells TROUBLE

When it's quiet in our home that's a quick sign that things aren't normal.

So I went upstairs and this is what I found:

You may see a precious & peaceful sleeping baby...

unless you know my house and know that she's actually hanging over a LEDGE

... and it's only a ginormous drop to the steep stairs below.

but when a girl needs a nap, any place will do.

She quickly grew tired from creating yet another hurricane.  

Frankly, just looking at her trail of messes makes me long for a nap.

I think she needs a leash.

I promise, I DO watch my children....most of the time.

I did hear the pencils being thrown, dropped...and I thought to myself 'no biggie'...until it grew increasingly more quiet.  A quiet house spells

T-R-O-U-B-L-E.

It was done out of LOVE. Pinky Promise.

As part of her 'rage' if she thought that by screaming "I hate you mom" as she walked out the door was going to endear me to her and allow her more privileges...think again.  We have always encouraged honesty.  It's okay to have a bad day and to respectfully express it.  But all too often the rants turn into utter disrespect and sheer awfulness, if that's a word.

 This was a long-time in coming.  My back has been killing me the last couple of days and I SO didn't want to follow through with loading up the goods in Kenzie's room and moving them out.  She left me no choice.  She was warned.  Everything she has...down to the last decoration on her wall and the fluffly pillows on her bed are G-O-N-E.  For now. Let this be a lesson to ALL our kids that WE AREN'T KIDDING.

By law we are required to give her a place to sleep, a few clothing items, and food for her belly.  Basically, that's it for Kenz until she earns them back.  No pretty things to look at...no choice in shoes, no jewelry and knick-knacks.  A choice of her scriptures and only two books instead of 20, enough clothing to get her through a few days, which then she can wash and wear again until she earns more back.  Curt and I emptied her room while she was at school today.  I only wish I had a place to store her furniture. An empty room with a mattress on the floor would have even sent a bigger message.   But she most definitely got the picture as she burst into tears at the site of a more clean and minimalist room.  

She has to EARN every little thing back.  Let's see how quickly common courtesy returns.  It will be a tough test for all of us in improving attitudes; A powerful experiment in respect for her family, namely US, the parents.  An experience they won't forget in completing their duties and responsibilities as members of this family they belong to that LOVES them.  Tone of voice in our home is a big deal...some of us struggle with that.  I hope this improves everything about our home and making it a happier place for all for the spirit to reside.  I have hopes that gratitude for their blessings and their privileges will quickly return and enlighten them. Drastic, I know.  But we all know who is next if these things don't improve dramatically.  It's okay to have a bad day and to express emotions...respectfully.  Believe it or not, what Pres Hinckley said is exactly what we had in mind when we did this out of LOVE:

The kids came home from schoool--McKenzie burst into tears; Monson ran into his room to make sure it was just as tidy as it was when he left. They were polite, their attitudes had adjusted...let's see how long it takes for this problem to correct & McKenzie to earn her 'things' back!

Update: My mom asked what McKenzie chose to 'earn' back first. Funny girl, it wasn't the iPod or the boyfriend pillow with the speakers in it that plays her iPod; it wasn't the new pbk jewelry box full of gems that she got for Christmas; it wasn't the decorations. The very first thing she requested after a full-day of good behavior was her ratty almost 10-year-old baby blanket that hardly resembles a blanket at all. She wanted 'comfort.' She declared she couldn't sleep one more night without it. Next was the contents of her drawer with her drawing utensils, erasers and knick knacks. Then a couple of outfits, and finally her iPod. Now I know what to 'take away' IF when she has another bad streak of tantrums, disrespect, or an insanely messy room!

My Happy Pills

I adore a room with a view. Looking out my master bedroom daily and seeing the peek view from my balcony warms my heart. Even with the next door neighbor's dish in the way and the dozens of rooftops blocking an otherwise perfect view. Cheesy? Perhaps. But truly, it is candy for my eyes and my soul and brings a smile to my face every morning. (I'm easy to please).

Likewise, driving home and coming up and over that Twin Oaks Valley Hill, as I drop down into San Elijo Hills...day or night, without fail,  lifts my spirit and brings my heart great joy. Crazy, I know. But this is a portion of the panoramic view:

You see, I dreamed of returning to So Cal one day...living so close to the coast is just a big time *bonus*.  Three years ago it was the sign that 'we have arrived.' This is the place we were certain we'd plant our roots deep and wide and settle with our gaggle of children. Truth be told,  I could live in a shack and feel the same way... as long as I could partake of that view! Lucky for me, six kids and a shack don't mix:) UNlucky for me, So. California real estate and the rising cost of six kids don't mix very well. Sure, I find the 'happy' in every place we've lived (with the exception of Tucson-it's just a lesser kingdom in my opinion-oh, but Brayden was born there and that's where our first home was--that was OURS --so there's my 'happy'). But where we are now in San Elijo Hills is almost the Rolls Royce of 'happy' in my book. Not that I'm in love with our home, but I do appreciate the security, the constant, the possibilities, and the 'community' that a home yields. And especially one with a view.

For some people it's the mountains, for others it's the desert. The warmth and joy the ocean and everything around it brings... it's like it renews me, it fills part of my 'cup' every time I look in the distance and behold the glorious ocean with the wispy clouds as they fall into the horizon with the occasional vessel moving about. Perhaps it's symbolic of my desires, our future, adventure, endless possibilities. Some people need to take happy pills; this part of God's splendiferous creation IS my happy pills. Please don't take that dream come true away from me! I don't want to have to find another form of happy pills. I'm more than content with the one I have now, thank you very much, WAMU.

click this and then 'views from around San Elijo Hills' and woila, it's a picture pre-Viviana of my kids with me in the background that I'm seeing for the first time at our little water park on the SEH website --see? Maybe we ARE supposed to be here forever! 

A Little Prayer, A Hug & A Kiss!

This morning my world felt like it was caving in.

Still no answers on the homefront with our mortgage company...How do I even plan for two months out?  The near future?   Will be even be here for the summer of '09? Where do I register Lexie for Kindergarten?  Is there any way we can actually survive long term in this California economy?  Or do we cut our losses and move out and onto another state that's more conducive to raising six children? {not referring to Utah}. Why aren't there any answers from the mortgage company?  Is it going to come down to crisis management?  There aren't too many options right now.  In the wake of this housing crisis, maybe it will be a blessing Obama will be taking the helm next week.  

My house has seemed so unorganized and discombobulated lately.  The kids are all complete and utter SLOBS.  And I'm not a nice mommie when I have to deal with slobs.  I hate slobby messes.  I don't like piles.  I don't like clutter.  I am not a pack rat.   But half our kids are--total pack rats.  They can find treasure out a stinkin piece of paper they might need next week that belongs in the dump.  They can find joy with a ratty old stuffed animal (which I HATE--they just clutter and take up space).  I secretly take them out of their rooms and give them to charity.  

They don't get the whole concept of wearing an item of clothing, then at the end of the day either hang it back up or put it in the hamper to be washed in two weeks.  Yes, two weeks.  Which brings me to my next gripe today:  I hate laundry.  Who doesn't hate laundry?  I only know one person {dear dear Allison} who finds joy & satisfaction in laundry.  The kids have enough underwear to last them two+ weeks and so they actually have to ask to have their laundry done.  Or do it themselves.  And most times, they have to fold it on their own and put it away if they want clean clothes.  Am I shirking my mother duties?  Or teaching self-reliance and empowering them?  All I know is that I hate laundry.  And this is how I deal.  I should just assign them each a day.  They can start it before school, I can finish it while they're gone and have their piles ready for them when they return.  You'd think with six kids I'd have this down to a science by now.  What we do actually works.  But I still hate laundry.  Maybe I just need to 'shaylafye' my laundry room and make it homey.  Laundry in an 'inviting' laundry room is still laundry...or is it?  But that brings me back to my first frustration--is it even worth it?  Will we even be here in a few months?

Is it so awful and just downright mean that we require chores and work around this home?  Talking to McKenzie and Monson, you'd think we're the worst parents in the whole wide world!   Serious entitlement issues, those two.  We provide a bed and a room for them...all we expect is that it's cleaned before they go to school with their beds made, and their rotating chores done.  One would think it was a death sentence by their constant reactions and defiance...like it's a new policy?  For reals.   I need to take my friend's advice (she did this) and remove everything from their room except for a bed, a few clothing items and a few other needful things.  Then they can earn them back.  In the heat of the moment one day, I'm sure that's what I'll resort to...creating more work for yours truly, but driving a serious point home! 

I let our cleaning lady (heaven bless her soul) go because we just can't afford it right now.   Yesterday I spent literally ALL DAY while the kids were at school to deep clean the downstairs in between changing diapers, feeding hungry little girls, etc.  I even put the little ones to work doing windows.  Is it SO MUCH to ask that it remain clean for a couple of hours?  Is it unreasonable to expect happy faces instead of whining about doing chores when they get home from school?  I am a taskmaster, I know that.  Maybe they just need 20 minutes after school before I barrage them with my expectations.  Now that the kids have a little bit more time with less extra-curricular activities I thought they'd be well-served by once again being responsible for cleaning their bathrooms.   Now I'm having second thoughts.  It's a time bomb in those bathrooms!  Half of it, I realize is Hurricane Noddy rushing through and dumping out drawers and cupboards after puddling the room and herself up.  

Which brings me to the next one...Our toddlers haven't ever been as 'noddy' as Viviana.  I can hear her upstairs right now...scooting my vanity stool up to the counter to empty out my makeup and break half of it along the way, while spreading the other half on the floors, herself, and the walls.   She doesn't get it, that sweet unsuspecting Viviana.  Actually, that's not true.  I think she does get it.  And she is constantly wanting to see how far she can push it.  Constantly!  I finally had to resort to giving her a little swat (a gentle one) on the fanny when she didn't obey today.  I don't believe in 'spanking,' per se, ...but she was shocked and did get her feelings hurt.  It worked.  Maybe now I'll have a way to teach her to not go into the street?  She has boundary issues there too that the rest of them haven't had.  She has been more difficult all the way around...with reason.  Our little noddy, I mean miracle. Perspective.  Perspective.  Perspective.

So with all my frustrations (that really aren't so bad in the grand scheme of things, I realize, that but don't tell a hormonal woman that)  I found a quiet spot {why is it always the closet or the bathroom?} and knelt down to gather some quick sanity, express my frustrations, express my gratitude for the sweet little children that are causing the frustrations...and then asked for some answers and that through it all I would know the direction in which to take.  

Right at the end,  in strolls Vivs, all somber and loving.  She straightened out my folded arms for me so that I could pick her up and she jumped into my lap, put her head on my chest {proceeded to wipe her snotty nose all over my clean shirt} and said "mom-mie" and then planted a slobbery kiss on me.  This is what we live for.  This is what we'd die for.  Despite the swat I planted on her fanny 5 minutes earlier, she just wanted me to know she loves me, she wants me.  She needs me.  She needs me SANE.  And Heavenly Father knew it too.   That's what I needed right at that moment.   I wouldn't say my frustrations were all better and that everything is honky dory now.  But my perspective is better.  I'm a happier mom and I can breathe without feeling suffocated.  And then off to the girls' room I went for the next 2 hours to help them organize, throw away and clean up a disaster.   See?  That's all it took.  A prayer, a  hug and a kiss.  Simple, really.

Lexie collects pennies

A couple of months ago Curt scared the begeebies out of our older kids when he saw and then shared this movie clip that portrayed the toothfairy as a giant hairy evil tooth-eating spider.  You leave your teeth...it finds them and eats them up.  Way to go--freak the kids out and make think that if they lose a tooth, leave it under your pillow and then this toothfairy spider creeps into their rooms and eats them up--it's how the spider toothfairy stays alive...feeding on teeth of unsuspecting little kids.  Why don't we just tell them that Santa Claus is really from Whoville and has a dog named Max. 

{Maybe it's just about as bad as me telling the boys that if they go to bed with piles and messes in their rooms, then as they snore and sleep with their mouths open the spiders that live in their room and have created their comfy little webs around their messes and piles will crawl into their mouths and they'll swallow them if they're not careful.}  I'm thinking maybe we're just not nice parents sometimes--resorting to scare tactics?  

UPDATE: Okay, Curt's reading this for the first time and claims he didn't actually **show** the older kids this scary clip so he's not as BUSTED as I portrayed, but he did tell them about it so that's almost just as noddy. Noddy Curt!

Lexie is now in business.  Of collecting pennies, that is.  She's four.  And she lost her very first tooth the other day.  I'm telling you, the girl is beyond her years.  But she's also as innocent as they come, and at four.... she has had pimples & sweats and therefore smells like a 12 year old boy (not kidding--she wears deodorant out of complete NEED).  I say this because now she's losing her last signs of 'baby.'  Baby teeth, sweet smell, and everything in betweeen- Not fair!  But she will never lose her sweetness and tender loving ways...I hope.  She wants so badly to grow up like her big sis, Kenz.  I'm constantly pleading with her to stay little and reminding her that she'll always be MY baby.  She'll just give me a squeeze and then another and another and say, "I love you so much, I just can't stop hugging you."  Betcha y'all wish you had a Lexie too.

I do love that she was so thrilled about her loss and next step into kid-hood.  She exclaimed, "And now the toothfairy is gonna come get it and I get a penny!"  The toothfairy was nice and left a handful of pennies instead.  (Losing teeth at 4 before the concept of money isn't so bad for the toothfairy)!  At least Lexie's toothfairy is still a sweet, gentle fairy that doesn't resemble that creepy one.  Come to think of it, none of the bigger kids have left their teeth out for the toothfairy since Curt introduced scary toothfairy.   

Hooray for you, Lexie, on your 'first.'  Love you to pieces.

Besties are the best

One of my besties, Marla,  and I have always been super close--despite the thousands of miles that separate us.  She's the kind of friend that walks in after two years and things are just like old times...with the addition of 9 little ones-oh, and hubbies.  She's one of the few that knows the 'real me' and can complete my thoughts for me--which is a scary prospect at times!  We tell everyone that we grew up together because it seems like we've known each other forever...but it's actually not the truth...or anywhere near it.  We didn't even meet until we were 17, but we sure made up for it during our young single adult years at home and then college years at BYU. She's the quintesciential bestie, if ever there was one.  Our history is long, wide and wonderful!  I love her to pieces!  As they keep moving with GE from Connecticut to Minnesota to Mississippi and then Kentucky....then to......?....I just hope that someday she'll make it west past those Rocky Mountains that separate us.  Although... we'd get nothing done if she lived within driving distance.  So I truly enjoy the hours we do get to spend together to keep all those memories alive and well.  

So we're creatures of habit...who can blame us?  Or maybe we're really taking advantage of the best deal in town--free LegoLand for the last hour.  I think we've been 3 times in the last two weeks.  Emma & Kenz on the little people helicopter.

How cute is little man Davey?

Bringing out the inner-Curt....

Big Dave & Little Dave

All of the kiddos---and one more on the way...and then there'll be 10. YIKES.  Ten kiddos between the two of us.  Man, we did good!  And they only very seldom walk around looking like their mommies don't love them!

I love you to pieces!  Thanks for coming to San Diego, even if for a few hours.  Our dinner date and free babysitting was worth your drive, wasn't it?!  

Holy Cow, He's 40!

But 40 is the new 30, right? Curt's 40 and going back to school (have you heard?!) He finally figured out what he wants to be when he grows up. We blame it on the fact that he's always been a late bloomer. I say kudos to him (see...I'm a supportive and loving wife) as long as he keeps his current career to pay the bills until he jumps into his next one...as Frasier Crane the 2nd. Clarification: A masters & then phD in clinical psych --not to be a radio personality, but to have a practice. Can't you see it? It's gonna take an eternity, but we're on a new journey--just not certain how it's going to all play out except that it will be a s l o w road.

Curt...Thank you for lifting me, for supporting me, for loving me deeply, for helping me to fulfill my dreams, for making me a better person, for loving our children and being an amazing daddy (most of the time), for agreeing to even have six children and for taking this long journey to eternity with me.

His '40th' gift was a complete labor of love. Sure, I could go out and spend a bunch of money I don't have to get him something really super cool, but truth is he's Mr. Sentimental...moreso ...WAY more than me. Okay, he'd probably really enjoy a brand new really cool watch or a very large and expensive collection of the new mini helmets that just came out. I mean the whole collection of NFL, NCAA and whatever else is available to replace is already expansive collection. He'd also probably love to expand his library of leather bound classic books--he's an avid reader and studier. His calling as Gospel Doctrine Teacher fit him perfectly (he was released a couple of weeks ago). Anyone who knows anything about Curt knows what a sports fanatic he is. His life revolves around our faith, our family, and...... his sports. He's made a dent in the sofa where he's permanently planted his rear with the remote in hand to watch whatever game is on. He has 15 teams from hockey to 'futbol' and everything in between. So whatever the season, there's bound to be a game on that he has to TIVO.

He loves to snuggle. I don't love to snuggle. He's blessed we have little girls that are snuggle bugs. He claims every cozy blanket we have in this house and sleeps with them--no, truly, he sleeps with no less than three cuddly blankets at any given time. He wraps one around his neck and then builds himself a fort-of-sorts with the others. He'll tell you it's for our bedmate, Vivie. That's a lie. And when my family room blankets disappear to the bedroom, I get bugged. So in a collaborative effort with Brayden, my other sports guru, we designed and made a quilt with the fuzziest most comfy and cozy warm minky on the back to give him all the snuggles he wants. The front is laden with a patch for each of his 'teams'--so now he can snuggle with his new quilt/blankie and feel all the warmth and love that is coming from his giant family. It truly was a labor of love to finish this in 3 short--okay, very long nights. So Curt, Happy Birthday and Happy snuggling with your new, personalized, cuddly, super soft and meaningful quilt.

XO forever,

We {heart} Brevin

Our 2009!

Thanks for the good times!  Keep 'em rollin'!