Crawling Adventures

Look at the trouble that Vivie is brewing up:

Because of her new-found freedom called crawling, she discovered her favorite spot--my craft/sewing/misc. closet in the downstairs bedroom!

She dumped the bag of thread, then got tangled up in it all...I think her favorite color is pink--those are the ones she chose to pick up and clap together....hmmm...wonder where she saw that color before...

And yes, she is sporting a runny nose. A very, very, runny nose. Thanks to the crawling and all the germs that go from the floor, to her hands, to her mouth. Oh, the joys of babyhood.

She is faster than I give her credit for...DETERMINED and strong as an ox--like the rest of those McLaughlin girls. She loves all the bathrooms...even the boys---ick. (it does get cleaned weekly, but there's something to those boy's bathroom--not straight-shooters? I'll spare you...you're welcome). Perhaps she's noticed that the rest of us spend quality time in the bathroom, so why not her? She's caught on! At least she hasn't figured out yet that there's a lot of fun to be had in that big toilet bowl...or she'd be pulling herself up and having some splish splashy fun with her light-up ducky, I'm sure. And I'm certain that day will come too...

And I'm grateful that she's just climbing up a few inches instead of a few feet. I'm fretting the day when she starts to scale staircases, fences, walls, cribs... She's no longer content sitting, bouncing, and twirling inside her saucer; she likes climbing under it and just hanging out and grabbing the leftover food bits from snacktime...or pencil shavings from careless big kids. I'm not so sure I like how fast she's caught on to this crawling thing. It means sweeping and vacuuming 2-3 times a day, sweeping her mouth/throat for Lexie's polly pocket shoe or the occasional coin, and today I even performed the heimlich without as much as a flinch! But she sure is a cutie pie and we're grateful she can crawl at bearly a year old.

Once the five older kids are snug in their beds and I'm upstairs decompressing on the computer (laptop is broken still), as part of her night-time routine she starts whining and crawls all over trying to find me then down the hall to the base of the stairs and whines for 'mama.' She loves her cuddle time and daddy's night cuddles just don't do the trick. So we cuddle, and I type with one hand while she helps with both her hands and sometimes her whole body! Whatever I have to do to get the job done. She's slobbering on me now-I think she's out! Ahhhh, precious stages.

Memorial Days' Past

It was a grand Memorial Day Tradition in our family growing up to pay our respects to our Grandpa Menzie at the Los Angeles Veterans Cemetery. He died of cirrhosis of the liver when my Dad was just 18 years old in the VA hospital just down the street from his final resting spot.

We would take bets on who would find the grave site first...and make dibs on who would clean the overgrown grass off the face of it. And a fight would always ensue for who gets to take home the little flag that the scouts placed by the headstone prior to our visit. I don't think we ever missed a year...at least while all six of us kids were at home.

So these are some of the photos of Memorial Days past...yes, I know they are horribly cropped. I don't know how to get picasa to center them in the collage. His name was not "Ward," but Howard Yuille Menzie. He served in the US Army as a Master Sergent, as the stone suggests...and yes, we always wore poker faces for some reason. One can tell we didn't always want to be there and certainly didn't need 50 shots of the same event each year with the print camera, slide camera, SLR camera, AND video camera...not kidding. I think I've turned into my dad in the photo department. Sorry kids! I DO know your pain! You'll thank me for it later!

We always knew how special Memorial Day was...and were very keen on the sacrifice many made for our freedoms. It's a very large cemetery with headstones as far as the eye can see...a visual reminder. Although, I know many didn't fall in the line of fire, they all did their part to make our America what it is today.

We would then rush off to Titos Tacos...and sometimes go sit at the Marina (Del Rey) and watch the boats. It was especially cool when Memorial Day fell on Wayne's or my birthday (May 27th and May 31st respectively). Then we were sure to get first dibs on the flag...HA! May is a great month, isn't it?



While I haven't continued that Memorial Day Tradition since living here in So. Cal, we have taken our kids up and had the same photo-op and Titos experience. In fact, last time we did it was when the Escalade was broken into and my Nikon, among other things was stolen. The only photos on that stolen camera were of our cemetery stop. And so I insisted on a do-over with my little digital on the way home--HAD to get those 'next generation' pictures!!! (It was Sunday and we were coming from church in LA, thus the nice clothes:)

"Hairspray"

"Oh, oh, oh
Look at my hair
What "do" can compare with mine today?
Oh, oh, oh,
I've got my hairspray and radio
I'm ready to go..."

No, I'm not talking about me...although I do use my share of the stuff to freeze my long mane.

McKenzie was in her 2nd showcase with The Stage School on May 27th (oops..just realizing at this moment it was my older bros' b-day yesterday --didn't even register that date until now...calling him now and blogging about it so he knows I feel badly for being blonde yesterday...or just a super duper busy mom of six...however you want to see it. I kind of sound like Penny Pingleton:) Happy Birthday, bro!

So back to Hairspray...all the kids just looked and sounded fantastic. They had on their stage faces complete with the 5 lbs. of makeup and a gallon of hairspray. Elisha always does a phenomenal job with the ever-growing cast and makes each girl want to come back for more! I saw McKenzie as a teenager today---of course wearing more makeup than she'd ever be allowed to wear and walk across the threshold of this home with....but she looks all grown up...and she's NINE! She's as tall as any fifth-grader (though she's in third) and, well, performed with confidence, zeal, character, and lots of voice...that's McKenzie for ya. Gotta love 'er! Way to go, AngelKenz and the rest of the cast!

There's no crying in baseball...err...no peeing.

In our house with six kids we have to at some point 'just say no' to all these extracurricular activities every season and make our kids choose....We've always said, one instrument and one sport for each to hone in on. But that's tough because there just might be talent in more than one area! So, what are we to do? Right now, life seems to revolve around Brayden and his 'extras.' But he is our overachiever and has been getting straight A's all year (& maybe a B or two snook it's way in there). But he has proven to us that he can balance. I'm not a fan of over-scheduling---because when you schedule a child, you schedule a parent and kids need time to be kids anyway. He's doing Scouts, Baseball, Violin, and almost as soon as baseball ends, football begins. And balance is important especially when the real homework hits him this September in Middle School--YIKES!!!

So this is really a post about baseball. Brayden was never a fan until he played last year and now it's his second love...next to football, of course! So in his second season, he played first base, third base, and was the 3rd string pitcher...with some time in right field too. I was a bit shocked to see him pitch for the first time. He was mainly brought in as a relief pitcher, but I think he did a phenomenal job...his 'Pops' (Grandpa) would be proud. But he does need to improve his batting
to be an All-star. I'm so proud of you, Bray! You improved greatly upon last year. He's gonna kill me, but I have to post this embarrassing moment cause it's funny now that I look back on it.



I know these photos are horrible quality--I apparently don't have the knack for 'action photos.'

About six weeks ago, I was at a game cheering Bray on (It was my turn--Curt was home with the kids). Anyway, I dropped him off at 4:00 for a LONG practice before the 5:30 game. He played the whole game from pitching to first, to third...and it was getting pretty late.

This game was going on f o r e v e r. It was the 5th inning, about 7:30, and he was at 3rd base dancing around on his toes...moving and shaking...just could NOT stand still if his life depended on it. Ants in his pants? I could see the torment on his face-he was in PAIN. And I knew what it was...poor boy! Third out....Diamondbacks were at bat again. And Brayden was first up. No break. The poor guy dances his way to the practice ring. He dances circles while he half-heartedly swings at the air to warm-up. He is struggling BIG TIME!! As he makes his way to home plate, he tries to stand still long enough to accept a pitch. He couldn't even make the stance. He turned to his coach and said, "I can't bat; I have to go to the bathroom." The coach looked at him like he was crazy and demanded that he finish his at-bat. (in a very mean tone with an expression to match) . I, the momma bear, was sitting in the stands just ticked and baffled at the coach's utter disregard for Brayden's honest plea. The score-keeper and team mom was equally ticked at the coach's remarks and the way he handled it. Anyway, I'm a fuming mom...watching Bray miss each pitch as he's more focused on the pee that's dripping down his leg and puddling near home plate. He strikes out because he just can't focus and then makes a run for the bathroom to finish his task...if anything at all was left--I don't think so judging on the puddle:)

I walked over to the coach and asked him if he realized that Bray's dignity just went out the window with how he handled that situation. I asked what the league rules were....and I learned that we would have taken an automatic 'out' if he didn't finish his at-bat. Well, the end result was that it was an 'out' anyway, so what is more important....the dignity of a boy in front of his peers, adults, etc? Or the game?

I understand the rules...if I were the coach I probably would have made him finish his at-bat too in the name of 'teamwork.' But it's all in the coach's tone and approach with no sympathy, and utter disregard for Brayden and his dignity. Poor guy. Good thing his pants weren't skin-tight like some fanny-hugger baseball pants...because man, the flood gates did open that day on home plate....and the flood gates were not tears, but rather, PEE.

And for the record, Brayden was a champ about it--he thought he was being discreet about it all and that no one saw...and he didn't even blame the coach for mishandling the situation. Funny thing, same inning...two outs...his teammate steps to the plate and starts with the same dance...tells the coach he can't bat...coach rambles a snide remark, the boy intentionally strikes out...game over. We still win. That boy didn't add to the puddles that day...he made it to the bathroom just in time.

So great job this season, Bray! Keep on keeping on! And a little pee never hurt home plate. And no, I didn't have my camera on the pee day...otherwise I probably would have snapped a pic or two heehhehe

The Rules of Napping

With your sixth child the rules just aren't the same as they were with the first. My friend, Katie, sent me this email detailing how our lives and habits change with each additional baby....one of the many examples was this:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown-you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to turn on the swing.

How true is this??!!! We have similar rules for napping at our house:

I tip-toed around the house to let Bray nap peacefully when he was a baby.

I played classical music and lullabies for McKenzie to drown out the sounds coming from Bray.

By the time Monson rolled around I actually had all three napping at the same time...or whatever they wanted to do in their beds. It was my time! With three kids under three years old nap time was no longer for them--it was sanity time for me!

Lexie learned to nap amidst chaos.

I didn't stop my errands or my life for my fifth. Izzie napped in the car if she napped at all.

And now Vivie naps wherever she can find a somewhat comfy place to lay her head when the 'Sandman' calls. Hardwood floor, rug, bumbo chair, carseat, supersaucer...usually not her crib. What's next?

And when is it my turn again?
For the record, I really am enjoying this stage of life. REALLY. I am. My three little girls at home right now are a dream-come-true and I love the older/younger sibling balance we have going on. Really. I do. And yes, the older three were a dream-come-true as well. I just never in my wildest dreams, the lone girl with FIVE brothers....thought I'd have FOUR girls....with three of them less than three years apart. I am blessed. And I adore my boys too.

My HS Musical Star...is two years old

One of Lexie's birthday presents was this HS Musical microphone. Izzie has taken over it and hogs it all the time. She really does sing sweeter than this most times...this is a little harsh, but I LOVE IT when she boogies!

Our Tooth Fairy is a total S-L-A-C-K-E-R

Our tooth fairy is a complete and total SLACKER. She just can't make it on time... EVER, and has run out of excuses.

Their room has to be clean...check.
Their teeth have to be brushed...check.
The tooth has to be in an accessible spot under the pillow...check.

Poor Monson had three teeth for the tooth fairy to add to her collection and leave some loot in return. By the third night when the pearly whites were still hanging out under his pillow, Mons was just in tears over being FLAT OUT IGNORED! Who does this toothfairy think she is, anyway...letting down a seven-year-old time and time again???! He worked hard to get those teeth out! No, REALLY. He actually pulled one of them out at school before its time and then bled and bled. I think I figured out why...

We have an "Arabic" one in the neighborhood that gives $40 a pop...maybe more for the silvers:) I think he figured that he'd run into some luck like our little Arabic friends. He's been saving his money to buy a really nice skateboard and figured this was one of the 'easy' ways to expand his savings. He counted out all his cash and to my surprise, he has saved 48 bucks! Maybe that's not a ton of money, but he does have a little bit of the good 'ole Menzie horsetrading blood in him! He's really into the 'finders keepers' thing and it's not uncommon to find him flipping sofa cushions...and believe me, it's not for the stray fishies, cookie crumbs, and crayons stuck to the bottom of the cushion he's looking for.

So I had to call the tooth fairy myself....I was told that things are a little bit hectic right now. So she came during the middle of the day and made it worth Monson's while ($10 for 3 teeth because of all the anguish and patience over these pearly whites). He usually gets about one buck...yeah, our toothfairy apparently visits a LOT of boys and girls and can't swing 40 big ones-EVER!!! Isn't he toothless and cute? Don't tell him too much how darling he is because I'm quite certain I'll find him with the pliers in hand...in front of his mirror. Yes, and I do think braces are in this cute buckaroo's future!

She likes it! She likes it!

I've posted about this before...it's a very common occurrence in our home. And I know I'm not a lone mom that deals with picky eaters I also refer to as my monkeys.

I make a meal from scratch; my kids would rather eat cereal, eggos, oatmeal, or eggs ANY DAY of the week....AND for all three meals, mind you! I've caught on and I just don't put that much umphhh into my dinners anymore...what's the point? Give the monkeys what they want and everyone will be happy.

5 pm rolls around and I'm head first into the deep freeze digging up something from yester-year or some ready-to-eat dealio from Costco (gotta love it Costco)! Okay, not yester-year...but pretty close --I had to scrape the ice off the top to even see what was chicken-scratched on the top--was it really something that was edible? Did I shove it in there thinking that by some miraculous change in taste buds sometime in the near future they'd certainly like it even if they snubbed it the first time around, thus the leftovers fit for a whole kingdom?

And note....I consider myself to be a pretty good cook...I learned some great homemaking skills when I was like two and have been practicing them ever since. But I don't like to waste pounds upon pounds of food...so I relent most the time. Oh, and I don't like the whiny "I'm hungry" cries from the top of the stairs at night when they're supposed to be in REM cycle 3 already. So I usually stock my freezer full of eggos and 'safe' pre-made Costco meals, my cupboards full of carnation instant breakfast, my pantry full of healthy cereals, breads, and nutri-grain bars, and my fridge full of milk, yogurt, eggs, and fruit. Forget the rest-except the jasmine rice. They'll eat that as a meal in and of itself any time. Too bad jasmine rice costs like the same as gas.

So tonight the fridge is kinda empty. Haven't made it to Costco in over 2 weeks. Curt's out of town and I'm not taking three little girls in there cause frankly, I won't have enough cart space and I'm a pretty smart mom--I know that by the weekend they'd be puking all over from whatever random virus they caught off the shopping carts. Izzie does suck her finger no matter what it's made contact with the second before. And I think they're like immune to sanitizer by now. If I have Izzie sanitize too much she'd end up with a blood alcohol level of like 10 because of the finger-sucking. Another story for another time.

Off to the freezer to scrape off the ice and try to read the chicken scratch--cause surely the stuff inside was dog food--or at least that's what it looked like. Chicken curry with veggies....yeah, the kids might have liked that one a couple months ago. So I throw some rice on and open some corn and butter some bread....walaaa! A meal. I had to beg them to eat it---Izzie got airplanes, trains, helicopters...even race car spoonfuls of food into her mouth. The rice was gone in no time flat and everyone else cleared their 5 bites I made them shove 'to get their protein.' Why do we do this to ourselves when hot dogs and mac 'n' cheese is cheaper and easier? Yeah, I can't even stomach the thought of those things. And it was a good meal! I certainly enjoyed it. Didn't taste a bit like freezer burn...r e a l l y. And I'll enjoy it tomorrow too--like I said, enough for the whole kingdom.

So I'm helping Mons clean up and I look over...Vivs is almost completely turned around in her little bumbo chair (that she sits in on the table to eat)...both hands in the chicken curry grabbing fist fulls and shoving them into her mouth just as fast as she can. This is my little girl with a sensitive and delicate GI system---is she trying to say, "stop babying me already and give me the real stuff--I'm ONE for goodness sakes????" And she didn't even have squirrel cheeks, so she was actually inhaling the stuff! YEAH! She likes it, she likes it! I watched her do this like 5 times and then I'd give her water to help wash the stuff down---cause it's kinda chunky and I'm sure it's going down her throat whole cause her front two teeth just won't do the trick. But okay, I'll go along with it---so I grind some of it up for her and continue to feed her...but that just wasn't quick enough for her...she still had to grab fist fulls and shove. It was funny enough for a photo-op, so there ya have it.

Moral of the story: I love my Vivs. I adore all my kids....most of the time. Don't you dare dement her, oh, ye five other monkeys-of-mine! I want my kids to be healthy, so I'll give them what they will actually eat (1/2 the time) as long as it's a healthy choice. But it's sure nice when my meals don't end up feeding the mice and other creatures that are outside near the trashcan...even if the tupperware started out looking like frozen dog food before it was defrosted. And, if it's good enough for Vivs, it's good enough for the rest of the pack. I think Vivs is ready for real food...except she spit up nasties like 4 times after her feast. Oh well, but I am a good cook...really, I am.

Sweet Memories....

Sometimes I get in these reflective moods of extreme gratitude and remembrance of Viviana's earliest days. It's one of those days to reflect on the Lord's tender mercies....and so the laundry will have to wait, the TV is on to entertain the girls (bad mommie!) I'm surrounded by Sunday's messes, I literally threw food on the table for Lex and Iz to pick at, and my laptop is working at the moment which is a rarity lately, so here it goes before it leaves my mind...you know, that momnesia thing! Whatever tornado ensues around me I'll deal with later! Some of these things are random memories, but I don't want to forget even the smallest tidbit about my tender experiences with Viviana's earliest days. And perhaps this may help someone else along the way...

I made the 70 mile RT daily trips to the NICU (for 100 days....I only missed 2...one on my birthday, the other on a day when I just couldn't do it) while Curt would hold down the fort most days. He would visit her in between his work calls and appts. downtown...and we'd go together a couple times a week. Anyway, I would bring in the cutest little things to outfit her from head to toe. From bows I'd stick to her ever-so-tiny head with surgical goo, to dainty little lace-trimmed socks, and of course, the cutest wardrobe, blankies, homemade burpcloths, and little homemade fuzzy 'sleeping pads' to help her be comfy.

It was such a great day when she was finally ONE whole kilo (1000 gms--this happened on my birthday when she was 22 days old! She was born at 801 gms on 5/9, then dipped down to 678 gms bt 5/15). She was then allowed to wear her wardrobe that awaited her in her little hospital closet (drawer)! How darling is this dress?! She did grow into it eventually! It really was a milestone. I used to take these things back and forth from the hospital to home and wash them for her and return the next day with my goods...and with usually more to add to the collection. On nights when I just would cry myself to sleep and wonder what was in store the next day, I would hold these clothes close to me, just cry, and just take in her very distinct smell...her scent was great comfort for me. And sometimes I'd sleep with her washed blankies so that she could cuddle with something familiar--the smell of her mommie. Just yesterday before I got her dressed for bed I took a big whiff of her jammies (a mommie thing.....okay, a shayla thing) and just remembered how comforting her distinctive scent has always been to me.

The nurses were always in awe of how I had time with five little ones at home and so very stretched with my time to whip up a blanket or burpcloths. "Do you do this in your sleep?" the nurses often wondered out loud....but for me, it was my coping mechanism for something that I could not control. I am a woman of great faith. I know that. I am not boasting, I'm recognizing my blessings. And that is one of them. I have been blessed with the ability to have extreme faith all the while a balanced understanding of reality. I am thankful for that blessing. That is one thing the Lord required of our family for Viviana to survive... I know hundreds of friends and families exercised extreme faith on our behalf which I will be forever grateful....and thus, Viviana Faith.

This photo of all my children was such an important day for me. Every mom has an innate need to have a picture of all her children...together. Mine was a bit of a challenge to get though. We had to wait until the end of June when Vivie was stable enough and could have all her siblings in the room at the same time for just a minute. My world was so much happier after this photo...it brought me great comfort and took away some of my anxiety. I am immensely blessed.

There weren't too many things I could do to help Viviana. I could pray, and then pray some more. At times I felt like a helpless mom...with a lot of hope. So I'd sit by her bedside and write in my journal...I'd pump my milk for her delicate little body, I'd kangaroo hold her as long as she'd tolerate it (up to a hour) in her first 5 weeks, I'd sing to her, I'd change her teeny diapers, I'd bathe her, I'd wash her clothes, and I even brought in an ipod nano with the same lullabies, primary songs, and classical music..the same ones that I'd listen to on bedrest. My thoughts were that they'd be familiar to her and help to sustain her in the early days. Yes, she was a princess from day one. What other micro preemie had an ipod nano in their incubator?? I was laughed at--I'm sure it looked ridiculous! I don't know if these things truly helped her or not. Maybe they were just annoying, but again, they were comforts to me that I was doing all that I could to help my precious angel. I know she felt my presence by her bedside. Every so often she would stare at me in the eyes and I would know that she realized the sacrifice. Her smiles meant the world to me early on. And when I had to leave to fulfill my other responsibilities at home I would silently cry. At times the thought of leaving her behind was ever so difficult. But I knew she was being left in very capable and amazing hands.

It also brought me great comfort to hand-pick her primary and co-primary nurses. I cannot say enough amazing things about her primary care givers...the nurses...especially Tara. We had relationships with a few others, like Donna, that were not able to be her primary, but would always check up on Vivs and cuddle her when they could in my absence. To know that she was loved from an extended circle of people was great comfort to me. I will forever be grateful to that amazing staff at Mary Birch for the care she received...there were only a few doozies. And I made sure they stayed far away from Vivie's bedside!

It brought me great comfort to know that there were angels literally surrounding her bedside. Anyone who was able to spend any time at her 'condo' cannot deny the special feeling surrounding her. I remember feeling that she was still receiving instructions from above--and that is why she was so very calm most of the time in the incubator. At one point, a night nurse supervisor that I hadn't yet met approached me and just wanted to confirm that we were members of the LDS church. She said she figured....she was too, and told me that there were a few instances in which Vivie's presence had already influenced a few discussions about the gospel and she just wanted me to know. Apparently it was not uncommon for the nurses and visitors to pass by, see the pictures surrounding her, and had questions about this large family. This nurse was just expressing how Vivie had been a missionary tool. These experiences continued as Curt and Sean would administer to her with many wondering eyes surrounding us...even with the screens we put up to try and make it private. It made for some special discussions.

Every week or so, depending on the severity of her Retinopathy of Prematurity (ROP--the preemie eye problem she had) the Opthamologists would come check Viviana's eyes. We watched most of these micro-preemies head to surgery at one point or another because of the ROP. One Thursday, Viviana had basically declared herself. She needed this surgery, which ultimately would take away any peripheral vision she'd have, in hopes that the ROP would stop in its tracks so that she would not be legally blind. The Opthamologist was to come back on Sunday and check her, and then the plan was to take her to surgery that very day. The consents were signed, the plan was in place. We held a fast specifically for her eyes. Sunday came and when Dr. Bansal checked her, she was astounded. The ROP had regressed and started to show signs that it was going to back off and go away. She reported that she was shocked. It's not often that she'd see ROP declare itself for surgery and then back off quite the way Vivie's did. Another miracle. Vivie's eyes are perfect today. I am so thankful for the power of fasting and prayer. I'm grateful for the knowledge that if we expect miracles, they can occur.

It is commonplace for micro-preemies to require part, if not, full blood transfusions several times throughout their early weeks and months. Viviana was no exception. We share the same bloodtype, A+, but because of my major c-section surgery, I could not give blood until 8 weeks post surgery. My mom has the universal blood type, so on her first trip to meet Vivie and bring me back my Lexie & Izzie, she gave blood for Vivs. Vivie had received a transfusion from the hospital supply and it really didn't boost her the way the Dr.'s had hoped. So when the time was right, Viviana was able to receive my mom's blood. It was amazing to me how her grandma's blood made all the difference in the world to Viviana's body. She responded beautifully...her stats when up, her jaundice improved, her color changed and she really just soared after receiving Ama's blood. That was great comfort to me...and I know it was a special experience for my mom..to serve her by having her blood course Vivie's veins.

I will forever remember how Lexie insisted on being my companion everyday when I went to the hospital. She had a special connection with Vivie early on and would just cry if she couldn't see her everyday. I'm also thankful that I had 5 children to hold on to and love when I couldn't physically love Viviana. I believe that sustained me on many tough days.

I will forever be thankful for a friend who knew of Vivie's need for blood and went to the blood bank on his lunch break to give in her name.

I will forever be thankful for the time when my mom called Vivie's name into every temple in the United States....we literally felt the powers of heaven open up as blessings poured on her and thousands of prayers were offered up in her behalf.

I will forever be thankful for the loving friends that brightened my days during this great trial and helped to ease my burdens any way they could.

I will forever be grateful that along with Curt, Allison stayed and sat by my side while I labored with Vivie...through the most excruciating 24 hours of my life...and so many unknowns awaiting us. We told the nurses and Dr's a little white lie...that Allison was my sister, so that she could have clearance to go set up Vivie's space and be the loving arms there waiting for her in the NICU while Curt was with me in surgery....even if the only comfort she could give Vivie was a finger to hold. Human touch. It brought me great comfort to know Allison was the one waiting there for our angel.

I will forever be thankful for those few that were dear and close to me that selflessly escorted me to the hospital on the days that I was not able to physically drive and Curt was not able to take me. Their companionship and strength buoyed me up when I truly needed it. I love you---you know who you are.

I will forever be thankful for every phone call, every email, every well-wish, every prayer, every gift given out of love.

I will forever be thankful for the urgings and promptings I felt to be physically, spiritually, financially, and emotionally prepared for the best, the worst, and everything in between. There was a reason for all of the preparation that took place.

I will forever be thankful that my mother took the time to crochet a beautiful dress for Vivie not knowing what her outcome would be. That must have been one of the most difficult, yet sweet experiences for her...I know it was for me. It is a twinner one to my girls' blessing dress..only about 5 sizes smaller.

"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience."

If we remember this, our trials and life's circumstances can become lighter and our experiences will become sweeter and more sacred. This whole thing really has lasted for over a year for me. I can truly say, my Viviana experience has been a sweet one...even with all the unknowns early on. I'm thankful for that wilderness-of-sorts that I was in during my pregnancy. I was given a place of solitude, of safety, and protection. My focus could literally be put on Vivie as I mustered up the faith to continue each day...it was not easy. It wasn't supposed to be easy. But I made it through that wilderness and I have felt so very humbled and nourished...and look at her a year later.

She is still a princess...with a party hat this time! BTW, she didn't enjoy her birthday cupcake too much...she was more disgusted, really, at this foreign taste inside her mouth. We'll have to plan a do-over at her one year adjusted birthday in 14 weeks....like the only fringe benefit of being a micro-preemie...a real b-day and an adjusted one! I'm pretty pleased with my homemade hat---even if the circumference is too small for her noggin! It feels good to say that!

Budding Artists?

I used to frame my kids' artwork in our Utah home. Maybe I should get back to that practice...what do ya think???!!

Lexie & Izzie took the liberty of doing it themselves the other day. I think they felt left out and really wanted their art on the wall next to Brayden's class Van Gogh. My fav is the big fat drawing of....me! At least I have a smile on my face. And, the colors go quite nicely with my decor! Way to go, girls!

My 'Mother Teresa'

It's a well-known fact that I adore my mother. If I 'grow up' to be an inkling of what she is and accomplish half the things that she has, I will be sitting well with myself & more importantly, my children and the Lord. She is affectionately referred to as 'Mother Teresa' much of the time. She is amazingly talented, patient, kind, caring, and the most giving person I know...sometimes to a fault, if that's possible.

Growing up, I remember she always worked hard to increase her knowledge and used her talents and skills to work when she had to. I remember being so frustrated that every summer when the six of us kids wanted to swim at the neighbors or go to the beach we had to wait for her to first get her sewing done. We didn't understand it...we were the 'NOW' generation. I SO get that now and think I could still learn a lesson or two....or ten from her. I know it killed her because she wanted to be constantly 'doing' things with us. I see now that she had great balance and still managed to get everything in and please most everyone. She's always been a big people pleaser. She's also the most proficient home-maker I know. She used to make all my clothes, sew all the model garments for a major fabric store, sew aprons, bathing suits, and do crafts for large catalogs, she was a mini-contractor in our home knocking out walls, laying tile, painting, landscaping..she baked her own bread, did her own canning and dehydrated her fruit, attended the temple regularly, did all the laundry, taxied us everywhere, we had regular sit-down meals, and she magnified her church callings...actually, she magnified all her 'callings', church-related or not. And the list goes on and on.

She's always been an amazing example to me of service. She used to do things for those that physically couldn't help themselves, serve weekly in the temple, make meals for others in need, take care of others' children, even took in a few kids that needed a stable home for a period of time, used her physical talents to serve others, and was always a friend to those in need...and she did these things humbly and quietly.

As a teenager she was the cool mom. She'd even come four-wheeling with me and my boyfriends and we actually all wanted her around. And now I see the grander purpose in her being a big part of my social life...very smart! I won't list the crazy things my mom and I would do because I don't want to incriminate either of us! Believe me, she was the cool mom. I remember her 'making' me play hookie with her (I didn't want to miss my important classes/tests and protested at times!) and do whatever I wanted, just the two of us. I know she did this with my brothers too--it was her way of having special time with each of us one-on-one. That's been a great lesson to me in finding personal time for six kids myself.

And so it is with the next generation....she takes time with each of her 16 grandchildren and I think each one walks away feeling as if he/she is Ama's favorite! She bakes with them, creates things with them, teaches them gospel principles, sings with them, dances with them, plays basketball with them, rocks them, reads to them, walks with them. She treats them as if they are her own---well, they kind of are. I feel immensely blessed to call her my mother. My only wish is that we lived closer and that her visits were longer so I could actually enjoy her company more often... To everything there is a time and a season and sometimes I'm the impatient one wanting more than she can possibly spread around...I love you dearly, Mom. And now I understand completely how much you have always loved me. Gotcha first!

Happy Mother's Day!
(you see how Monson is just standing in awe that Ama can lay one up still???? Swish!)

Happy First Birthday, Viviana!!!!!

My computer is in computerland hospital...so I can't access my photos to do a nice photo journey for this post. I'll have to add them later....
so for now...

From this:

To this....in just one year:

MIRACLES DO HAPPEN

and no, that's not the same beanie!
And yes! Those are two adorable front teeth!

....I couldn't see this day a year ago. I still can't believe a year has come and gone. And what a year it has been! How thankful I am for our last sweet daughter. As I look back, I'm thankful I can cuddle her at will, give hugs and kisses o'plenty and hear her sweet giggles in return. I'm thankful for her strong personality (yes, another one) because I believe it's her fighting spirit along with the grace of God that has allowed her to be here today. And not just 'be' here....she does it with flying colors and we all stand in awe of Viviana. Check out how her diaper size has changed too! the tiny one was actually overwhelmingly large on her when she was born. She had a little bird bottom! And the other one is her current size 3 that are even getting a bit snug...

She has overcome Retinopathy of Prematurity (ROP--you know, the eye problem), Hemangiomatosis with hepatic involvement (you know, the potential liver problem) which has involuted almost completely---one lone lesion left on her liver...hundreds have gone away. The problematic skin hemangiomas will either be lasered or cut off at some point in the future. The Pulmonologist said 'absolutely not' to putting her under with a general to have another MRI of her brain and at the same time taking care of these external lesions. So we'll revisit that in 3-6 months. Her chronic lung disease still kicks her when she's down, but that won't last forever, and developmentally??? Well, she kicks fanny! We couldn't be more OVERJOYED with Viviana's progress in just one year.

She weighs in at 18 lbs, 28 1/2 inches long. (she started at 1 lb. 12 oz., 14 inches long)

She's babbling. She's a big daddy fan and let's him know it constantly.

She has a scream when she's tired that sounds like a little teradactyl dinosaur....or what we imagine one to sound like anyway.

She has many nicknames. Vivs, Vivie, and YummyAna....because she's so yummy to look at and kiss all over.

She has a smile that brightens the room--she also smiles with her eyes.

She's a really great bubble-blower and raspberry kisser.

She loves her supersaucer. She loves making noises and bouncing in it...or pretty much bouncing and babbling anywhere!

She's scooting all over and gets up on all fours, but hasn't quite figured out how to be coordinated yet.

She loves her food. Mostly she loves playing in her food.

She adores her siblings. Her world rises and sets with them.

She loves having her face tickled. She loves human touch---always has.

Her first two (bottom) teeth grew in two weeks ago...

She still loves sleeping with Mom & Dad....or maybe it's the other way around :) shhh, don't tell!

She gets head-turns and ooohs & ahhhs everywhere we go. I should just start saying "I know" when people tell me how beautiful she is. Although she always had delicate and very pretty features as a 1 lb. 12 oz micro preemie, she's come a long way and found her chub....we LOVE it!

I was just going through the journal I kept while in the hospital with her and through her journey and had forgotten that she dipped down to 1 lb. 7 oz. at her smallest. My hand overwhelmed the size of her head....it was about the size of a baseball.

She is my reminder that life is sacred. I cannot speak of Viviana's life and my hallowing experiences bringing her into this world without absolutely rejoicing in the tender mercies my Heavenly Father has shown me. "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." I think that's my favorite quote and summarizes my tender feelings about life....my so very tender feelings about my Viviana Faith.

I don't ever want to forget the feelings I experienced during the 'trial' of my life bringing Vivie into this world. I have always been able to say it was truly a sweet experience despite the anguish I felt along the way. What an absolute joy you are! You add so much to our family and you'll always be my little miracle. I'm so blessed and privileged to be your mother. Happy Happy Birthday, my dear sweet Viviana Faith!