80's and Lovin It!

..And I'm not referring to the decade, but this amazing weather! Where else can you go in February to comfortably basque in the sunshine , wiggle your toes in the sand, and watch your kids splash in the water? Yeah, Florida, but I'm partial to So Cal...San Diego in particular. Oh! I live here! Ha--sometimes it still feels like a dream...come-true, that is. Last week we had record rain and freezin' temps and this week we're pulling out the summer wardrobe and enjoying the 80's! I just may head to the beach when the big kids roll in from early-out school. Eat your heart out my frost-bitten friends who are still shoveling snow! Been there, done that! Yes, I earned my bragging rights in case you were wondering~! Vivie loved her first sand experience. Woohoo, spring-here we come!

Update: The kids came home from school (sometimes early out day is great!) and I ushered them into the car and off we went to the beach for a couple hours. It was b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l!

Today I'm grateful that we live 9 miles from the coast so that I can share with my children my passion and love for the beach at the spur-of-the-moment! It is a dream-come-true for me, really. Lame? I don't think so.

We stepped out of the car and the aroma of salt immediately hit our senses. The seagulls gracefully flying overhead were an amazing sight (as long as they stay far away and don't drop their bombs on me!). The enormous waves were crashing on the shores creating whitecaps that could be seen for miles, my children were busily creating things in the sand, ....carelessly splashing in the water, sun beating down on our shoulders, babies laughing with glee and kicking up the sand, watching surfers trying to show their stuff--I could go on and on with the imagery to take you there with me. But you'll just have to come for a visit or for you in-towners call me next time you're headed to the coast so I can join you in my little paradise.

We love our Care Bear!

...Not to be confused with this pinkish furry creature, although Izzie loves that one too. Care Bear is the affectionate name that my kids call their ex-step Gma....if there is such a thing. Yes, my extended family is a confusing mess of explanations & intricacies. So we just go with it. Carole is her name--she was married to my dad for a couple of years, and my nuclear family has stayed close to her. We don't get to see her as often as we'd like, so these last couple days have been a real treat for all of us!

She took a few days off of work and came down (from Huntington Beach) to hang out. She was a great sport and played 'witch & princess' (at Lexie's request) ALL day with the girls, got lots of pretend play in, board games, rock time, dress-up time, 'yipstick' applied by Izzie every 5 seconds, and talk-time in with the kids while I made her a fabulous cornice board to grace her living room. I'm also in the process of making a few kitchen valances for her to spiff up her great HB condo. Someday soon she's going to spread her 'green thumb' all over my courtyard so that it feels homey & alive! Oh, and many thanks for the wonderful PB pewter serving bowl and fall leaves for next years table decorations! We love the fringe benefits of the deeply discounted employee-only-Pottery Barn goods! (That's her side 'hobby job' that we ALL love! Her full time career is working as a consultant for Coopervision:)

She's an exceptional person that anyone would feel lucky to rub shoulders with. She's so fun, attentive, complimentary, genuine, caring, kind, and Christ-Like. Her affectionate nickname is very fitting! We feel blessed to still have her in our lives. As soon as she walked out the door to leave tonight and before I even had time to close the door completely, with her long sad face Lexie said, "Mom, I already miss my Care Bear!" I had a good chuckle--my kids all CRAVE attention like that from especially their Ama (my mom) & Care Bear. So if you ever hear my kids talking about their Care Bear...it's probably NOT referring to the furry variety.

I Know In Whom I Trust

I was especially moved today in Curt's Gospel Doctrine class on the above topic. Trust, faith, perspective, affliction, trial, humility, and patience have been part of Heavenly Father's design for us this last year. I just felt great humility today in reflecting back on this last year. It was a year ago February 16th that I was put on strict bedrest with the first massive hemorrhage I experienced at 15 weeks preggers with Vivie. (bedrest from Feb 16-May 9 when she was born). Little did we know that staying pregnant would turn into such an ordeal. An ordeal that would literally take over our lives and make us see things in a different light...having us reach for answers, help, service, comfort, peace..exploring every possible outcome; experiencing sorrow, joy, pain, triumph, hope, and sacrifice along the way. I hold this experience very sacred. How blessed I feel that a year has come and gone, that our sweet 1 lb 12 oz Vivie is a now a 15 + lb healthy, strong, happy, capable, YUMMY, well, whole, and beautifully precious little girl. She is a miracle and I believe it's by no consequential design. I'm grateful for the trial that enabled Viviana to gain a body and complete our family.

Proverbs 3:5-6 brought me amazing comfort during the long hospital days and nights before & after Vivie's birth. There was a tremendous amount of unknowns we were facing. "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths." It was like a light that went on. I didn't need an understanding of why this was happening. All I needed to do was give it ALL away to the Lord so He could carry & direct me. Pretty basic and simple principal...but at times tough to do.

I particularly remember the Neonatologist, Dr. Wight, coming upstairs to my hospital room when I was admitted to the hospital at 23 weeks. She spelled it all out for us. She didn't leave out the gruesome hard parts--very candid. I was strong through that conversation and unwavering in my outlook and hope. Several specialists gave us the option to abort...or to simply give up given the road ahead. They all wanted us to know what we were up against and the chances for this baby to live a normal and healthy life were almost nil., not to mention how risky the situation was for my health and wellness. With every week I could stay pregnant, the chances brightened, but still up until 28 weeks it looked grim. I'm grateful for the priesthood. I'm grateful for that spiritual element and Heavenly Father's hand that most of these physicians just don't believe in. The higher authority in the medical arena just isn't seen by some of these faithless physicians. In general, it's all statistics and hard data to them. (She was a 26 weeker).

Viviana's early days in that NICU was a missionary experience for all of us. People were astounded that she was our 6th and so much care was taken to dress up her 'condo' and make it a very personal and special experience for all those involved. Many were overcome by the spirit felt in her little space and were drawn to it. A few of the LDS nurses were able to 'field' questions from other nurses and bystanders about our faith as a result. We had several 'mini' discussions about our beliefs with the blessings that Curt was able to give Vivie during those 100 delicate days.

I could go on and on about our experience. The toughest day in my life was having to send my then 1 & 2 year old Izzie & Lexie away for 6 long weeks so that I could safely bring Vivie into this world. THAT is a great sacrifice for any mother no matter the reason. My point though is this: I have never felt as close to my Heavenly Father as I did during this particular trial. I know much of it was the fluff that was taken out of my life during this time enabling me to focus on the things that are the most important. Man, it's tough now to do those needful things everyday with all the 'noise' that surrounds me with six kids! What an opportunity I had to completely apply my trust in the Lord and experience great sacrifice, faith, love, and gratitude. I love my Heavenly Father, Christ, my family, and I LOVE MY Viviana Faith...with ALL my heart. I do KNOW in whom I trust. And I'm eternally grateful for that knowledge.

Little Conversations

I think it's hilarious listening to my girls mimic me through their everyday 2 and 3-year-old conversations and pretend-plays. It's even more amusing listening to what they think about on their own. Before you look at the pictures...yes, they are still in their jammies. And yes, its 2:00 in the afternoon & Izzie's braid from yesterday is all over the place like she's been in a windstorm from the 1980's. She looks like a wreck--hey, it's a very rainy Friday! (The truth is I didn't realize what a mess they looked like until I looked at the pictures!)

Anyway, here's one of their cute conversations playing 'mom:' And disclaimer---we're not raising our kids in 'the hood'. The little girls talk with an accent that would be familiar to anyone living in Jersey (Jowsey)...don't know where it came from, but it makes it that much funnier to listen to them. I guess the McLaughlins are from the east coast!

Izzie- "Mommie, I'm tiwed."
Lexie-"Okay, honey, let's go take a nap."
Izzie-"But mommie, I want some chocolate milk."
Lexie-"Sweatheart, I said you spilled your chocolate milk on the carpet so you can't have it anymoe in yoe room."

Or sometimes it's just conversations with the trillion baby dolls that grace our home. This time it's Izzie with her baby:

"Okay, hold on..we're going to chuch. Want to go to chuch? Have to cova you up with the blankie. Oh sweetie, got that on yoi face. wipe it off. okay, baby, are you weady to go ta bed? Got yoi jammies on and alweady to go to bed? okay, dropped it. I get that. Here's yoi pacifia foi goodness sakes. I just toot. You sit here.

(starts to sing & turns the lights off, dangling a whistle from a string over her face.)

Hewe's your toy...come get it. Okay sweetie . I pay da pano (begins to blow whistle and pretends it's the piano). Oh sweetie, okay time to go skating (slides across wood floors on a large comb with baby in arms). Look, thewe's my baby sista, pwaying. (drops baby on the ground) BABY! what ah you doing falling on the gwound? Ahe you okay?

"This mommie has boobies. That boy has pecks." (Izzie while playing polly pockets in the closet).

Maybe these little mommies-in-training aren't off to a bad start! They're fun, nurturing, unpredictable, hilarious, and they don't miss a beat!

I LOVE MY LITTLE SWEETIES!!!

Listening to them actually brings back memories of an incident with my cousin, Pam. We are 3 months apart and one time someone asked, "How old are you?" I replied pointing to Pam, "Well, she's foy and I'm foe." Like we were different ages because of the way we spoke...memories...

We LOVE L.A.....or NOT!

I grew up in So. Cal...in a northern suburb just outside the San Fernando Valley and always took offense to the nay-sayers and harsh critics of the Southern Californians. I just could never understand it. Sure every city has its quirks and weirdos. But for the first time in my life I now understand what tourists see when they experience LA...and why there's such a stigma about the city! We took advantage of the long weekend and gave the kids a taste of LA--tourist-style. I think it was an eye-opener for all of us! I want my money back! Or maybe just my camera.

A few of the highlights:

• showing the kids their great-grandpa Menzie's gravesite
• TITO'S Tacos
• taking 2 1/2 hours to go 20 miles--I think we saw more brake lights and bumpers than the sites. LA traffic was more than insane...on and off the freeway.
  
• Elvis-sighting
• Hollywood Blvd. on a Friday night
  
• Wax Museum (total tourist trap--but the kids enjoyed it)
  
• cross-dresser walking down the street
• MORE TRAFFIC
  
• Car getting burglarized--they ripped off my $1000 Nikon with 2 lenses, 2 credit cards, & Curt's laptop!!!! And left a hole in my door under the lock that they drilled. They tried to kype my 3rd row seat but Lexie's car seat was anchored to the floor...guess they were too lame to figure out how to un-anchor it...thankfully. Kind of put a damper on everything---my beloved Nikon!
  
• subsequent police visit and incident report
• Venice Canals
  
• Venice Beach. BIG education for the kids. There are a LOT of lost souls out there. (stoners all over in-action taking donations from people to fund their stoning-efforts, nearly naked men doing weird tricks, man juggling knives, mimes, protesters, hare krishnas doing their rants) Now I know why my parents never let me go there with my friends growing up! Oh, and a big 'ole pigeon left a big bomb on my shoulder and Vivies face...nice!
  
• Santa Monica Pier
• Homeless living everywhere
• Alvarado Street (Little Mexico)...trash everywhere, people everywhere, smelly everywhere. I think Tijuana is better.
  
• California Science Museum
• Langer's Jewish Deli (BEST pastrami outside of NYC)
  
• LA Temple

We had plans to visit the Griffith Observatory and my old stomping grounds with all the good eats in my neck-of-the-woods (Dan's Supersubs, Blinkies Donuts, TO Meatlocker), but traffic and stupid car theft thwarted our plans. We actually got all the way to the Science Museum before we discovered evidence of the robbery. I opened up the back of the Escalade to get my Nikon and the camera and the 2 expensive lenses were missing. I panicked for a second and thought maybe the camera fell out or I left it in my purse. Instead I went to move Curt's laptop case and found that it was also lightweight and empty....we felt so violated! The burglars left the cases and took the goods. They looked at everything, but didn't take everything. They selected two of the credit cards in Curt's planner, but left his Driver's License. The police said that there's a ring of robbers in the area that target the Escalades & GM's for the 3rd row seats because they can get 3 grand for them on the black market. Luckily, Lexie's carseat was anchored very securely to the floor making it a more difficult task to get the seat so they took the valuables behind the seat instead. They took the goods, then like good little robbers, locked my car back up to make the discovery take a little longer.

So for you people who have 3rd row seats in large SUV's like mine....watch out! Locking your car doesn't matter one bit when professionals want your stuff! And, it was in the Embassy Suites underground hotel parking lot, which cost a hefty $20/night! We parked it there instead of the the streets because of the safety-factor. They must have watched us pull in or something. We left LA very thankful to live in beautiful less-crime-ridden and cleaner San Diego! Luckily I had my digital camera in my purse and was able to get a few shots before my battery completely died. The best pics were obviously on the stolen Nikon, but I was glad I at least had my little Kodak digital!

FYI We really did have a great time--so much to do and see...our little incident just put a damper on things. Though it could have happened anywhere in the great 'ole US of A! Okay, maybe not just anywhere....I'll take Suburbia, thanks.

My Wedding Tag

Yeah, yeah, I'm on it. Only took like a month. I've been 'tagged' three times for this one and I figured it would be a good one to document! Happy Valentine's Day!!! And if I can get my scanner up and going I'll post some joyous wedding photos (I HATE our wedding pics---photographer stunk and I should have had a professional do my hair/make-up!!!!!)

1. Where did you meet your husband?
Yes, it's true...we are a BYU statistic. He first saw me as I was getting a tour of the 4th floor (BYUSA) ...totally checked me out (I tried to ignore him). He was the VP over all the clubs at BYU. We first formally met when he approved my budget for the preference dance that Amy Monahan and I volunteered to be in charge of.


2. First thing said:
In his head or out loud? You'll have to ask him that one! I don't remember.


3. First date:
October 16, 1993--Our mutual friend set us up (at his request I'm quite sure) right after the BYU v. Notre Dame football game. How fitting (if you know how BIG a fan he is of both teams)! Neither of us wanted to go-he wasn't feeling well and I just wasn't interested. It was like 10:30 at night---VERY late for a 'blind date.' We ended up going to Q-ball to play pool & air hockey --is that place still there?? Then we bought a gallon of ice cream, a couple of big spoons, and went to the park to have a bon fire with a mutual friend/date and just dug in...to the ice cream, that is. He thought I was a little piggy with the ice cream--turns out I am. Did I say I was not interested? Look what happens when you least expect it! Both of us were dating like 5 other people and he was the furthest thing from my radar.

4. First kiss:
He took me to see some lame movie--I think it was Robocop--not my forte for sure. Then we walked out to his car and he opened the door for me (he was always such a gentleman) and grabbed a white rose out of the backseat to give me...how could I resist after that? It was our 5th date (I was playing hard-to-get) and he TOTALLY planned that move-REAL swift, babe. Actually, before this time, I knew he was the one. In fact, after the 3rd date I came home, plopped myself on my bed and told my roommate that he was THE ONE and I knew we were going to get married...and this was before our 5th 'kissing' date...I guess I knew there was chemistry before I let him kiss me.


5. How long did you date?
A century by Mormon standards. Almost a year in real-people time. Engaged for only 2 1/2 months. That's the way to do it! And I have to say Curt is the KING of courting. He was always sending me flowers, bringing me chocolates, writing me love notes, leaving me things like a 1/2 eaten bag off cookies on my porch (because he got the munchies walking to my condo). He still 'courts' me 14 years later!

6. Where did you get engaged?
This is back when Curt was creative and known as 'fun-fun.' I have always liked baseball, so I was living at home in Oak Park, CA for the summer of '94. Curt drove down without me knowing and stayed with my best friend, Marla. She and her boyfriend at the time blindfolded me and drove me to this 'place', dis-oriented me and sat me down on a chair. (I figured it out cause I had to walk from the car over some grass across some dirt...hmmm, what could it be...a baseball diamond? Get it--he's giving me a diamond at a baseball diamond--which is my favorite sport . Cheesy, I know, but I'll always remember it!!) They sat me at home plate, then took off the blind fold. Here comes Curt walking across the field to meet me, gets down on one knee and pops the question. And what did I say? I told him I had irritable bowels. NICE!!!!! Long story. How romantic am I? I think that's even on the video that Mike Scott took of the whole event. (Marla's boyfriend at the time and Richard G's son).


7. Where were you married?
Salt Lake City Temple October 12, 1994 . We decided to get married during the middle of the semester (you know it's right...why wait?!!) so what better temple for BYU students. Certainly wasn't gonna be the Provo Temple! I received my endowments in LA though.


8. How did the reception go?
Glorious. We had it at my grandparent's clubhouse in Provo. Beautiful red shag carpet with charming chairs to match, gold lamay everything. Circa 1950...but we didn't care. It was OUR reception. And then two weeks later...reception in LA...two weeks later...reception in Tucson. It didn't ever end. THREE receptions...lots of loot but not a good idea. I violently puked over the Hoover Dam coming home from our AZ reception. I was deathly ill. Funny story...well, funny now.


9. Where did we go on our honeymoon?
Yeah, so this is the part where I got ticked. Why couldn't that creative streak transfer to the honeymoon? Ever since, I've been in charge of trip-planning. And it's not that this place was really THAT bad..it's just that we lived almost around the corner from this place and went there all the time before our honeymoon! He made me think we were flying somewhere. I thought it would be at least somewhere exotic and exciting with a beach. But nope. Drove through the canyon and parked our rears in Park City. We were at Stein Ericksons for the first few nights--I was allergic to their sheets. Fun times. Then we went to a B&B and what did he do ALL day Saturday? Watch football...completely should have known that every Saturday since then he'd be doing the same thing. But then again, I didn't expect anything different..I grew up with 5 brothers. What a great honeymoon! But he's more than made up for it since.


10. Do you have a song?
We had a wedding video made and there were a handful of songs on that...We've Only Just Begun (Carpenters--Karen's my all-time fav), and some other more hip ones from the 'era'. He liked Country...I detested it. I liked alternative...he thought my music was nuts. The Carpenters is an old time fav from growing up.

So now that you know about our beginnings, I tag anyone that wants to blog about it....because it's a great subject to blog about on Valentine's Day (especially if you'll be printing it out in a book later like me)!

Valentine's Conversation

My dear friend, Katie, wanted to hear my answers to these questions she had from some Valentine's conversation cards ...probably so she could laugh at me. So go ahead, read a little about 'me' and then blog your answers to the same questions if you want!

If you could go away by yourself for 3 days…disappear…where would you go and what would you do? I would go to a beach somewhere...anywhere (down the street or 4000 miles away--doesn't matter!) I'd sleep sleep sleep, be pampered at a spa, lie on the beach sipping mai-tai's, listening to the waves crash, feel the warm sand between my toes, sleep some more, and eat whatever I wanted. I honestly wouldn't care where---a beach in France, San Diego, Santa Barbara or Mexico--just a warm place with ambience & a posh place to sleep. No, really, my eye has been twitching for 10 years. I think I need some good zzzzz's!

If you could be on any reality TV show what would it be? It would be a blast doing 'The Amazing Race' to see tidbits of the world and then win a million dollars doing it...cause I would win, ya know (but sorry Curt, you couldn't be my winning partner. I'd do it with you in a heartbeat if we didn't care about winning!)

If you could have any superpower what would it be and why? I need two superpowers. The first one..."Duplication." I need a few of me so I can have my live-in "Alice". Is that too much to ask???! And the second one is "Flying" for sure. How cool would it be to just get somewhere, anywhere...fast. I have dreams that I fly- how exhilarating would that be?! I'll tell you when I paraglide in Seattle with Tallie in March (I wanted to 'fly' for my 30th bday but you guessed it, I was preggers. It's five years later and now Tallie's 30th, my 35th...so we're doing it!)

You just won the 200 million dollar lottery. What do you do with the money? The church won't accept tithing from lottery winnings, so I'd donate to BYU, start a charter school here, contribute to the missionary fund, set up a foundation/non-profit to help preemies and their families, pay off my mom's/sibling's mortgages and debts, buy homes for brothers/dad that don't have them, make sound investments, put $ in trusts for each of our kids and future grandkids, send Curt on tour with the Notre Dame & BYU football teams, buy him a Bimmer, buy myself a porsche & a beach house, as well as a farm in Provence, France; Be the first donation to start my mom's non-profit foundation, "Angels Anonymous", take my family on a trip around the world, decorate until my heart's content, buy a jet so my 2 pilot brothers can be employed for life and take me and my fam wherever we want to go, send $$$ anonymously to those I know are in need, travel, travel, travel...and so much more. Oh, I'd pay for Josh Groban to sing me to sleep every night! I really wouldn't want to win the 200 million dollar lottery though---I think it ruins people and I've never actually played the lottery, but it's fun to dream!

What is your favorite love song and why? I actually don't have ONE favorite. But I have favorite love song artists. I love all of Josh Groban's, Journey, REO Speedwagon, Air Supply, Chicago, Carpenters...all for different reasons. They remind me of my honey and also remind me of different stages in my life.

If you could pick any actor/actress to play you in the story of your life who would it be? Jane Seymour...because she's classy, appears to be a balanced mom, has great hair, and if you know me, my all-time favorite movie is "Somewhere in Time" and she's the star. The great accent doesn't hurt either---and it would be a really great way to introduce her to my faith. Yeah...she is kind of older though.

What is the one thing you know you’ll regret if you never do it? Cherish every day (okay, well, most days) with my kids at every stage in life. I want to always remember the smell and cooing of sweet Vivie; the dancing moves, pitter-patter and funnies that flow from Izzie; the sweetness of my Lexie while we rock and rock and the way she sings; the quirky tenderness of Monson (yes, he's a very tender boy); the long tales, spunk and helpfulness of my McKenzie; and the passion and emotion of Brayden when I tell him "I'll love you forever, I"ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." He cries every time. And the deep devotion and passion of Curt...even when I appear to not appreciate it--I do.

What is your dream job? Besides being a wife to my one-and-only and mom to six? NOTHING. I will go back to school though and pursue another degree in time...I think knowledge and continued education is so important. But my job now trumps anything else I could ever do.

If you could invite 5 people to dinner dead or alive who would they be? Emma Smith (wife of Joseph Smith), Mary (the mother of Jesus), Reddin Allred (my ggg gpa and convert to the LDS church and friend of Joseph Smith), William McLaughlin (Curt's father), and I'd want Curt there too...so that makes five.

If could only eat one treat the rest of your life what would it be? Dark chocolate...in all its forms (plain, truffles, cakes, ice cream, fudge, etc etc). Can you tell it's been a a while since I've had it???? Can't wait until Valentine's Dessert!!!

Meet Our Cow

I was on the computer the other morn and I hear: "moo moooo, I'm a cow...., moo, moo I'm a cow."
Repeated several times..loud and soft with different expressive voices through the house. I look to see and it's Izzie with her PJ shirt pulled up and over her head halfway. She apparently looked in the mirror with all her expressive faces...and saw a cow. She makes me laugh! I darted for the camera (of course it was downstairs and I was upstairs) and once I got the video camera rolling this is how it went.

Izzie: "moo, I'm a cow..let me see mom, I wanna see me"
Me: No, honey..say your thing, it's funny. (She wanted to see herself in the camera.)
Izzie: "moo moo let me see LET ME SEE! Mom, I want to see!!!"

So I've learned with Izzie there are no do-overs. This is the picture I got of the do-over and it's just not as funny as the first cow she apparently saw in the mirror. I should have a video camera rolling in her room at all times to catch all her funnies cause man, there's a lot of them.

Vivie's Report Card

On Monday late afternoon the charge nurse informed me they were going to have to move Viviana to a triple-shared room (again) for the night due to a full-house and a need for a single room. After our little cockroach experience I fought the idea and pulled the x-micro-preemie card (afterall, they don't REALLY want to expose my already immunodeficient baby to other diseases with unscreened visitors for two other patients, not to mention the two other patients--you should have seen what types of people were walking the halls of this floor--yikes is a good description). I'm sure the charge nurse thought I was trying to be difficult. I did not let down on my position because I knew we were going to be discharged 12-15 hours later, given a good night without much wheezing. The last thing I wanted to do was move all our stuff. Anyone that has seen the way we make the hospital room our 'home' and move right in knows what I'm talking about.

Viviana was weaned off oxygen early Monday morning and so with decent stats, no wall-suction (deep lung or nasal), and no increased symptoms, we were home-free Tuesday morn.
Only one problem-Vivs needed the snot cleaned out of her nose to breathe right since she can't blow her nose. The hospital-issue little blue bulb syringes would have probably worked better basting a turkey. I have one at home that works like a charm and so with these issues stacked against us I pushed for a Monday night discharge--and got it, thankfully. We arrived home just in time to tuck my sweeties in bed and kick up my feet for a few minutes....and actually talk to Curt without tagging him to 'go'.

Vivs is being treated like an asthma patient with severe bronchialitis---no biggie until you see her chest cave during a struggle. I'm thankful for my nebulizer and the xopenex treatments she receives at home. That darn chronic lung disease!! If it's the worst thing that happens to her as a result of being a 26-weeker, I'll take it.

She had her G.I follow-up today with her hemangiomatosis. I'm proud to report that she is faring better than even the Doc expected. The ultrasound revealed that the hundreds of lesions/tumors on her liver have mostly either involuted or faded, with the exception of one large one. The kidney lesion appears to have involuted as well and so with nice lab results, there's no real reason for concern at this point with the hepatic involvement.

We need to visit with the Dermatologists because there are a few that have grown and are deep-rooted that may cause her problems--especially on her head that may indicate an obstruction in her brain. But that's an area the GI Specialist doesn't have any expertise in, so it was just her hunch which is just about as good as my 3-year-olds. We will still follow up with more imaging studies (ultrasound) in 3 months. Wheeww! When can I jump off this race and take a breath? My guess is never--I suppose I signed up for this marathon so bring it on--I like the positive results! Go Vivie!

This is Lexie taking part in Vivie's Xopenex treatments...gotta teach them young! And how happy is Vivie to be home??!!! That's the medicine, not puke on her chin...this time at least!

A Twisted Vacation

I suppose Viviana's 5 night hospital stay was a peculiar way to get a much-needed vacation. I don't know whether thank her for infusing more stress in our lives...OR NOT....After all, I did get some quiet moments away from the organized chaos at our home that I was so wishing for! Although the whole night of restful sleep was not part of the plan in the hospital and it came with its own stresses. It just came in a VERY different form than what I expected for my wish of a 'weekend away.'

Let me back up... Last week I told Curt I was DONE. Before I snapped, I needed a break. It has been since our Europe trip Nov. 2006 that I have escaped without children, had a full-night sleep, really stopped to fully relax without someone depending on me for something whether it's to wipe a face, a butt, a counter top, or puke off the floor. I needed a break from Curt traveling three weeks in a row and having sick kids in and out of the doc and ER. (I don't know HOW Marla does it with her hubby traveling constantly ...)! I really wanted to go away with Curt, but my mom was unavailable because of her husband's health issues to come play grandma to six and expecting anyone else to watch six kids is just too much to ask. So the next best thing was just going on my own...

Curt, being the supportive and wonderful husband that he is, completely agreed and told me to book something...somewhere... and that I could go Fri, Sat, & Sun. Say no more...I was on the computer planning. But not for long...

Apparently we got used to the game of parent 'tag' from our NICU days. As Curt walked in from his business trip, I walked out to rush Vivie to the Doc. After an hour and a half of being treated at the doctor, we were off to the hospital via ambulance with a subsequent 5 night hospital stay. So in a very twisted way, I got a break from my regular duties...even if I haven't seen my husband for 2 solid weeks! I still will go away for a few days whether it's with or without Curt. And that full night of sleep and pampering at the spa is still calling my name.

Still Here...The Battle of the Boredom

Thank you for all your prayers and well-wishes!

Vivie is in good spirits...now that I brought her toys in to battle the boredom! I think an 8-month-old DOES get bored--of staring at the hospital ceiling tiles for 4 nights straight. Who wouldn't? The most exciting thing in her room before was the beeping IntelliVue monitor detailing all her stats. Now she has a whistle in her tune despite the fact that she's not ready to go home yet. Her O2 has been beefed up to 100% as she is still struggling (with a smile on her face). Gotta love my Vivs! The deep suctioning is not working as effectively because her airways are so swollen that they can't pull up the junk in her lungs and chest the way they were able to before. She's a fighter and will get through this, but it looks like we're here for the long haul until she can let go of the o2 and suctioning of any kind. I'm thinking we'll still be starring at these hospital walls come Wednesday, which will make a week. Now I want to see Vivie make a liar out of me!

Curt figured out a battle for my boredom too--his computer with a wireless aircard (this hospital doesn't have WiFi that we can borrow on my computer, but Curt's aircard does the trick). So I get the internet now...hooray! I also brought in my crocheting from a year ago when I found myself on bedrest (can you believe it's been nearly a year since the Vivie drama started?!) Curt also made it more comfy during his 'shift' by getting our room switched to a private one. We were in the cold corner room with TWO other roommates--none of which spoke English, liked to watch the Spanish soaps and Spanish Judge Judy as loud as they possibly could while ignoring their sick babies. One of the moms even propped her 4 week old baby in front of the TV with Montel Williams blarring and repeatedly told the baby, "This is your show--watch it." AMAZING.

As I was cleaning up things ready to switch Curt on Friday afternoon, I lifted up a hospital blanket off the floor to find 2 nesting cockroaches. I'm sure they were mating to make more little nasty critters. So Curt took care of it and got our room switched right away to a private one with a patio which has made a world of difference not to have to deal with the inept mothers and unwanted noise out there! Thanks, honey! Oh, and ya want to know how the cockroaches made their way into a hospital? They found them in another room as well....and these twins happened to occupy both rooms at one point. They came in on their carseats, YES, people do let their babies live in filthiness and it just breaks my heart! They lived in Calexico---basically in Tijuana so go figure. Poor babies.

I didn't throw my camera in my boredom buster bag for the hospital so you can't see Vivie loving her toys with absolute glee on her face. You'll just have to imagine it. What a trooper.

Living at the Hospital

All day Wednesday Vivie was struggling to breathe normally, puked a half-dozen times because she couldn't catch a breath in between coughs and had pretty severe retractions. Curt came home from a two-day business trip that night so I took Vivie into the Dr. to be assessed.

So far it has turned into a 2 night escapade at Rady Children's Hospital instead! (with more nights to come---she's not consistently improving). Our pediatrician treated her Wednesday night and she persisted with deep retractions, very labored breathing, and low oxygenation. So, with all these things stacked up against her, the Dr. called 9-1-1 from the office to have Vivie transported by ambulance to Childrens' Hospital downtown so she could receive the proper care during the 45 minute ride. I've never followed my child in an ambulance before...that was a first.

Her chronic lung disease is just now showing off in a way we'd rather it didn't. She tested negative for RSV which is great, but the head Dr. seems to think the tech just didn't get a good swab because her symptoms are certainly worse than her roommate's who does have RSV. So either way, they treat the symptoms and she's been exposed (lovely) and is just hanging out on oxygen...still satting in the high 80's/low 90's, receiving breathing treatments and steriods every couple of hours as well as a deep lung suction.

I had my two-day, two-night fill of that hospital room so Curt and I are now playing tag so I can have a real bed tonight and take a breather---with 5 other kids. Who knew? It's easier and makes me less crazy to hang out with the 5 kids at home than with 1 couped up in a germ-infested hospital room for that long of a stretch. And it's less-stressful for Curt to sit in a hospital room where Izzie isn't needy for her daddy every 5 seconds and where he's able to get his paper work done, prepare his Gospel Doctrine lesson, etc. So we make a good tag-team.

It's still difficult for me to leave Vivie's side, but I hadn't seen my other kiddos since Wednesday evening and they need to know they still have a mom. I keep having to remind Curt that it's been much, much worse before with Vivie's health and to be grateful it's not a problem that would require surgery. And I'm a capable mom not on bedrest this time! It's still difficult to live the logistics of all of it though.

Dear Vivie is handling it....well, like a fighter. She's receiving oooh's and ahhh's from all the nurses & Doc's who think she's the cutest thing they've ever seen. She certainly looks like she's as healthy as a horse in these photos with her 'hospital issue' wardrobe, but when you listen to and watch her breathe you know there's issues. She sure lets us know when she's uncomfortable or doesn't like being restrained for her deep-suction and I think she holds grudges with the RT's (respiratory therapists) who do all the fun stuff on her. She was not able to tolerate the oral steroids---has thrown up several times. I want those nurses who repeatedly tried to administer them to her to taste the steroid for themselves and see why they leave Vivie's room with puke adorning their front-sides.! I tasted it....and I still feel like puking!

When they see this kind of severe respiratory illness in a x-micro-preemie they keep them hospitalized until they've been off of oxygen for 8 consistent hours, satting in the high 90's. She's far from that right now and we've been told a 5-6 day stay is not out of the ordinary for these cases. JOYS. One of us has to be by her side at all times--It's not like the NICU where she lived for her first 100 days. These nurses are not as attentive and have 3x the amount of patients. The parents do much of the 'nursing' and care so I'm thankful it's the weekend so Curt is free to help, but come Monday we'll probably have to call on some help with the little ones at home.

So I need to log off this time-sucker I call the computer and pay attention to the kids that just walked in the door. I'll post updates as she improves. For now, please keep her in your prayers. Now for sure I'll be ready for a weekend retreat without kids in the very near future--anyone else game? I think I deserve it....dang it! (smiles)